dad jokes
why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
in case they get a hole in one!
Two years ago, I was three times as old as my brother was. In three years, I will be twice as old as my brother. How old is each of us now?
what are the numbers 17 and 7
What number do you get when you multiply all of the numbers on a telephone's number pad?
0
Hermione held the first meeting for students interested in joining Dumbledore's Army?
where is the hogs head
-from Descendants
“Are you kidding? Is this a joke?...”
“...you need to let it go”
what do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common?
they are both Paris sites!
When does 9+5=2?
time
I cannot be other than what I am,
Until the man who made me dies,
Power and glory will fall to me finally,
Only when he last closes his eyes.
what is a prince
Hermione's cat's name?
who is crookshanks
-from Aladin
“Try to lock me in this cage…”
“...i won't just lay me down and die”
what do Lawers were to court?
what is a lawsuit
If a hen and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many eggs will half a dozen hens lay in half a dozen days?
what is 2 dozen
We travel much, yet prisoners are, and close confined to boot.
Yet with any horse, we will keep the pace, and will always go on foot.
what are spurs
The eavesdropping tool Fred and George invent in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?
what are extendable ears
-from zombies
“If different was a superpower…”
“...we’d be so flawless”
Why did the robber take a bath?
He wanted to make a clean getaway.
A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 of them ran away. How many sheep does she have left?
9
In a circular house with no furniture, there is a family of 7. A maid, servant, cook, 3 children, and a mom. The mom went on vacation and when she comes back, all the children are died. The maid said she was sweeping the corners, the servant said he was dusting the furniture, and the cook said he was cooking the children dinner. Who killed the kids?
what is a servant, cook and chief
the name of Dudley's friend who goes to the zoo with the Dursleys and Harry?
who is piers
-from Encanto
“It's not symmetrical or perfect…”
“...but it's beautiful”
How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
A boy is 2 years old. His brother is half as old as him. When the first boy is 100, how old will his brother be?
99
What goes up, but at the same time goes down?
Up toward the sky, and down toward the ground.
Its present tense and past tense too,
come for a ride, just you and me!
what is a seesaw
Professor McGonagall’s animagus?
what is
A silver tabby cat
-From The little mermaid
“Look at this stuff…”
“...isn't it neat?”