Dad Jokes 1
My boss told me that as a security guard, its my job to watch the office.
Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water?
Because he meant well.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.
It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.
What do you call a french pig?
Porque.
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it's going to be me.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Einstein developed a theory about space...
and it was about time too.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
Their SuBAHHru.
I can't believe someone broke into my house and stole all my fruit.
I am peachless.
What was Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1
What do you call a cow with all of its legs?
High steaks.
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.
Sadly, he lost his case.
What should you do if you are cold?
Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.
My friend accused me of stealing her thesaurus.
Because he was outstanding in his field.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners?
Because he is a Supperhero.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.
Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job.
Now he’s just a handyman.
Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating?
Because the ice might crack up!
Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives.
When does a farmer dance?
When he drops the beet.