Listening Barriers
This is when you try to listen but get stuck on a detail that reminds you of something else and that reminds you of something else and then… you float off. You may miss what is said because you are busy thinking about something else.
What is Floating Off?
This is when you sift through the information to get only what you are
looking for. The rest you leave behind and never hear.
What is Filtering?
BLANK comes with knowing what you want to say and what is behind your speaking. No hidden agendas. No underlying motives. Getting the point across without long-winded stories or ‘beating around the bush.’ Hints are confusing. Choose words that express what you want to say, but also that the listener will understand. Focus on one thing at a time . . . what message do you really want to get across?
What is Being Clear?
This action is an active process, not a passive one. It requires time, patience and practice . . .with yourself as well as with the other person.
What is Listening?
Emotional or physical feelings that ignite you to crave for something.
What is Internal Triggers?
This is when you listen to make an opinion. You might have already made an opinion before the person opened his or her mouth.
What is Judging?
When you listen with the purpose of avoiding being wrong. You don’t consider feedback helpful; you do not want any changes or to make (or admit) any mistakes.
What is Being Right?
Blank
is oftentimes highly charged, emotional and intense. It might be right after an event or long past an event, after a situation has brewed for too long. It may be too intense for the listener to understand what you mean. Deep breathing before, considering the listener, releasing highly charged emotions and gaining perspective might help avoid reactive speaking.
What is Reactive Speaking?
When you
Make good eye contact
Maintain good physical space - close enough to hear well, but not too close to crowd the speaker
Give nods, uh-huhs or other signs that you are listening
What is look interested?
These are examples of Internal triggers are:
What are Anger, Anxiety, Boredom, Depression, Honesty, and Rejection.
This is a way of thinking that gets in the way of actually listening to understand.
What are listening barriers?
When you are listening just to give advice. You are ready with the problem solved and you know just what to do. You may not actually hear the whole issue.
What is Advice Giving?
Someone may have a gazed or glazed overlook on their face, showing they are confused. They may look around the room during your speaking, fidgeting, or not responding verbally or nonverbally.
What is knowing the signs of an overwhelmed listener?
When you:
Paraphrase or restate what they said, making sure you understood correctly –
“Do I have this right? . . . ” “Is this what you meant? . . . ” “Are you saying . . . ?”
Ask questions to clarify.
“I didn’t understand. Can you explain that again?” “Did you mean . . . .?” “I don’t get the part about . . .”
Listen for details (the small picture) and the whole idea (the big picture)
What is listen to understand?
Situations or objects that you observe around you that create a response for you to crave.
This is when you are ready to debate or argue. You are looking to disagree and are prepared with a firm stance.
What is Looking to Fight?
This listening is what you do when a topic is uncomfortable, hits too close to home, is getting too emotional or is boring. You do what it takes to deflect the conversation to another topic.
What is Avoiding?
Most situations can provide for a level of generosity of spirit and kindness. Avoid sarcasm, name-calling, exaggerations and bringing up a history of upsets. These can be hurtful and an obstacle to effective communication.
What is BE KIND AND SUPPORTIVE?
When you:
Quiet your own thinking so you can hear what they are saying.
Try and think about how the speaker is feeling . . . be empathetic.
Ask yourself . . . how would I want someone to listen to me?
What is honor the speaker as someone who is privileged to listen?
These are examples of External triggers are:
What is Being at a party, Being in a certain neighborhood, celebrating, drug paraphernalia, having money, and meeting new people?
This is where you size yourself up against someone else. It might be related to finances, work, looks, talents, status or anything else.
What is Comparing?
This is an example of
Joseph: “I’m going to stop at the HOME FIX-IT store on my way home. My furnace broke and I might be able to find the part I need . . . I’m worried that it might be too cold in the house tonight . . . ”
John: “I hate when parts get broken . . . I just bought a new car and I think one of the gauges isn’t working, maybe I should take it back to the dealers…”
What is Floating off?
If you know your listener, you might know how they hear best. Doing this will help them receive the information in the best way considering time, place and circumstances?
What is thinking of your listener?
When you:
Listen with an openness that allows you not to judge everything the person is saying. Judgments
may look like faults or “They’re wrong, I’m right” “Why would they do that?”
“They should do it like this.”
Be kind, gentle and honest with feedback.
Let the person finish speaking before you speak. If you need to interrupt, ask permission.
“Can I interrupt you for a second here?
What is be a supportive and considerate listener?
Name one thing you learned in Anger/Relationships.
What is.............