Three's a Crowd
Cage, Perkins, Daddy
Longlegs
Yes, you were remade, but the OG is best. James Sunderland wishes that he could find rest. Grief, guilt, and punishment, themes more mature. When Pyramid Head pursues, run to the door.
Silent Hill 2
Justing Long is a scream queen, get over it. Or, to be fair, in this 2014 flick, he’s more of a scream growl or grunt… or maybe, a scream bark? I don’t know, what noises do a walrus make?
Tusk
The 30th Anniversary Tragic Kingdom release (apologies, fellow olds) includes a new track, remade in America from a 2022 Danish film, riffing on Gwen’s most popular heartbreak hit.
Don't Speak No Evil
In Twin Peaks, Denise Bryson was played by this Fox (Mulder).
David Duchovny
Murnau, Herzog, Eggers
Nosferatu
First you were an author writing your book. Then, on vacation, your wife, they took. Now, in the sequel, pen finds paper again. New player characters live their now as your then.
Alan Wake 2
In this 2018 string of Garland, Natalie Portman confronts her husband inside Area-X, but is it really him? And do we have to talk about the bear? We should talk about the bear.
Annihilation
Did you hear? The government is going to ban this Chinese-produced Hugh Grant film about a pair of Morman missionaries getting trapped in an endless stream of obnoxious dance trend videos.
HereTikTok
Jack Nance made his way into 6 Lynch movies and, of course, Twin Peaks, but it was his singular peak in 1977 that popularized this film’s midnight movie poster’s popularity.
Eraserhead
Dan Stevens, Heist Tropes, Ballerina
Abigail
Fair Maiden Melina, tis the Erdtree she seeks. Poor wretched Tarnished, your chances look bleak. Yet, don’t despair, Maliketh shall unbind, “The way I see it, our fates appear to be intertwined.”
Elden Ring
What happens when you use media to create a new reality that, in turn, becomes more “real” and influential than our actual reality? Political parallels aside, LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH.
Videodrome
This MTV produced Boy Band spoof really takes a turn when Chad, Doug, Q.T., and Mickey spray it, not say it, all over the wide-mouthed grinning trauma demon who’s been tormenting them for the last week.
Smile 2gether
James Stewart observing criminality from across the street with his telescope? Eat your heart out, Rear Window. In this 1986 Lynchian dreamscape, MacLachlan can watch from the closet.
Blue Velvet
Dan Stevens again, vacation isolation tropes, birdbrain
Cuckoo
From 2008 to 2023, this original remade for you, for me. Try as you might to kill them stone dead, necromorphs regrow, aim for the head. It’s ok, you’ll be alright, your head-up-display never leaves sight.
Dead Space
All she wanted was fame and fortune, but when aspiring starlet Sarah discovers the origins of Hollywood’s elite, she enters into a deadly agreement that has, well, deleterious effects. Would you kill to be famous?
Starry Eyes
Zelda Williams, Robin’s daughter, directed this 2024 horror-comedy debut about The Louvre’s most famous painting falling in love with a reanimated corpse.
In this turn-of-the-century mindmelt, our filmmaker Adam Kesher receives the following admonition: you will see me one more time if you do good, and you will see me two more times if you do bad.
Mulholland Dr.
Jane, Justice, Jack
Stuck underground, war rages above. A wind-up flashlight? Where is the love? The generator needs fuel, the noises encroach. No light, be still, the beast makes it approach.
Amnesia: The Bunker
In the fashion industry, looks can kill. In this 2016 Refn exercise, some models just have “it”. But what if, and hear me out, what if “it” can be eaten, devoured, and subsumed?
The Neon Demon
This 2024 x 2001 cross-over died in production purgatory which is hard to believe. Machete-wielding Japanese wartime ghosts chasing Korean witchdoctor camp counselors in outer space? Let’s Go!
Jason Exhuma
Sailor and Lula do battle with Bobby Peru, only to be saved in the end by Glenda, the Good Witch.
Wild at Heart