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DOUBLE POINTS
100

Which sentence should replace sentence 5 to help create a more effective introduction for this story?

(1) My grandma bakes an apple pie for the county fair every year.  (2) A team of judges tastes all the pies that are baked.  (3) Then they select the winning entries.  (4) Grandma Addie has won second place three years in a row!  (5) I was thrilled for this year.  (6) I was excited to learn some of my grandmother’s baking secrets.


A. She is such a great cook and makes delicious fried pickles too.

B. This fall she had agreed to let me help her make the award-winning dessert.

C. The ribbons are hanging in the kitchen, next to her refrigerator.

D. I’m lucky that she lives close to me because I am able to see  her often.

B. This fall she had agreed to let me help her make the award-winning dessert.

100

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 20?

(20) Sometimes we turned on Grandma’s favorite radio station, closed our eyes, and we were listening to the music.


A. Sometimes we turned on Grandma’s favorite radio station, closed our eyes, and listened to the music.

B. Sometimes we turned on Grandma’s favorite radio station, closed our eyes and to listen to the music.

C. Sometimes we turned on Grandma’s favorite radio station we closed our eyes and were listening to the music.

D. Sometimes we turned on Grandma’s favorite radio station, and then we closed our eyes, and then we listened to the music.

A. Sometimes we turned on Grandma’s favorite radio station, closed our eyes, and listened to the music.

100

Sentence 32 needs to be revised. In the box provided, rewrite sentence 32 in a clear and effective way.

(32)  A first-place ribbon we were both on the table thrilled to see right next to our apple pie!

We were both thrilled to see a first place ribbon next to our apple pie on the table!

200

The word special is not the MOST effective word to use in sentence 7.  Which word should replace special in the sentence?

(7) Grandma Addie is very special about her recipe.

A. particular

B. distinct

C. common

D. nervous

A. particular

200

What is the MOST effective way to combine sentences 23 and 24?

(23) Our weekend baking classes would be coming to an end soon.

(24) The thought made me sad.


A. Our weekend baking classes would be coming to an end soon, the thought made me sad.

B. Our weekend baking classes would be coming to an end soon the thought made me sad.

C. Our weekend baking classes would be coming to an end soon, and the thought made me sad.

D. The thought made me sad, our weekend baking classes would be coming to an end soon.

C. Our weekend baking classes would be coming to an end soon, and the thought made me sad.

200

(4) About an hour up the trail, everything started to change. (5) The birds that had been providing the background music for our hike seemed to go silent. (6) They were no longer singing at all. (7) A light wind began to blow. (8) There was an odd stuffiness in the air too. (9) Suddenly, the sky seemed to shift from bright and clear to dull and gray.

Benito has included a sentence in the second paragraph (sentences 4-9) that repeats information. Which sentence should be removed from this paragraph?

A. Sentence 4

B. Sentence 6

C. Sentence 7

D. Sentence 8

B. Sentence 6

300

Which sentence could BEST follow and support sentence 11?

(11) Grandma Addie shared her original recipe with me.  (12) It also uses two different types of apples, McIntosh  and Honeycrisp.


A. She keeps her favorite recipes in a little blue box.

B. I wanted to copy the recipe, but she said there was no time.

C. She usually prefers to bake in her own kitchen.

D. It includes brown sugar, nutmeg, butter, eggs, and flour.

D. It includes brown sugar, nutmeg, butter, eggs, and flour.

300

Which change can be made to improve the clarity of sentence 19?

(19) Carefully, he pulled out the paper, but it was too faded to read. 


A. Change pulled to pulling

B. Change paper to thing

C. Change it to the writing

D. No revision is needed in this sentence.

C. Change it to the writing

300

(17) His fingers brushed against cool glass. (18) It was a small bottle with a rolled-up note inside! (19) Carefully, he pulled out the paper, but it was too faded to read. (20) Disappointed but determined, he sprinted back home. (21) Grandpa held the paper up to the sunlight, and slowly, the letters became clearer. (22) It was a riddle, a clue leading to another hidden treasure! (23) He suddenly remembered that he forgot to feed his dog that morning. 

Jamie has included an extraneous sentence in the third paragraph (sentences 17–23). Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph?

A. Sentence 20

B. Sentence 21

C. Sentence 22

D. Sentence 23

D. Sentence 23

400

The meaning of sentence 13 is unclear.  Which word or phrase should replace them in the sentence?

(13) As she worked with me each Sunday, Grandma Addie taught me how to cut them in just the right sizes.


A. Grandma

B. the apples

C. family

D. many judges

B. the apples

400

Which sentence can BEST be added after sentence 33 to bring this paper to a more effective conclusion?

(32) Later that afternoon Grandma Addie and I walked nervously to the judges’ table.  (33) We were both thrilled to see a first place ribbon next to our apple pie on the table!


A. To this day, Grandma Addie insists that I was the secret ingredient she had needed all along.

B. Blueberries pies are better than apple pies.

C. I love apple pie because it is so delicious.

D. The judges were very hard judges and gave a very low score to my apple pie.

A. To this day, Grandma Addie insists that I was the secret ingredient she had needed all along.

500

Alisha needs a better transition between sentence 15 and sentence 16. What is the BEST transition to add to the beginning of sentence 16?

(15) Then,she taught me how to cover the crust with foil to keep it from burning. (16) She showed me exactly where to place the pie in the oven. 


A. For example

B. In comparison

C. Next

D. On the other hand

C. Next

500

Alisha has included a sentence in the sixth paragraph (sentences 25-31) that repeats information.  Which sentence should be removed from the paragraph?

(25) On that last Sunday afternoon, Grandma Addie and I worked slowly and carefully.  (26) This wasn’t the day for mistakes. (27) It had to be a perfect day with no mistakes.  (28) We wanted to be sure we had followed every part of the recipe correctly.  (29) In the end, our pie looked absolutely wonderful.  (30) But how would it taste?  (31) What would the judges think?


A. Sentence 25

B. Sentence 27

C. Sentence 28

D. Sentence 29

B. Sentence 27

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