Facts on Healthy Boundaries
Helps spark healthy conversations.
What is the general goal of healthy boundaries?
This percentage of young adults confuses various controlling behaviors with loving/consensual ones.
What is 25%
Lily and her partner George set aside 30 minutes after the work day to set aside time to decompress and talk about their days with each other.
What is a healthy boundary (Green Flag)?
Commitment to your own growth, in all areas of your life and a foundation of love
What is the principle of starting to build healthy relationship boundaries?
Gradual weakening or dissolution of personal and emotional limits, resulting in a loss of autonomy, increased stress, and burnout
What is a boundary erosion?
Requires effort, care, and empathy
What is a true intimate relationship?
Percentage of young adults comfortable taking action in an uncomfortable/unsafe boundary-related scenario.
What is 22%
Mia told her partner she went out on Friday with friends but she was actually meeting up with another individual for intimate activities.
What is an unhealthy boundary (Red Flag)
In the case a boundary is unsustainable, need to have a course of action for when problems occur because of its failure
What is the technique of holding the boundary?
Intimate partner violence, abuse, and sexual violence
What is clear boundary violation (compared to boundary erosion)
One of the main external sources of help with building/maintaining healthy boundaries, involves talking with a third party
What is relationship therapy?
Percentage of young adults who don't understand consent (at all or in some respect).
What is 54%
Thomas was offered a new and really promising job opportunity but it's in a different state so he discussed the issue with his partner, whom he plans to marry eventually.
What is a healthy boundary (Green Flag)
When a boundary is violated, address it immediately and apply the already-discussed consequence, i.e., when your partner calls you a mean name, remind them that that is unacceptable and they need to respect that boundary
What is the technique of making clear the consequences?
Refusing to discuss important matters, staying physically separate, treating the other person coldly or angrily rather than handling conflict directly, etc.
What are different types of boundary violations?
Notice when others extend themselves for you, be honest about your feelings, respect limits set by the other person, etc.; necessary for maintenance of healthy boundaries
What are different types of intimacy skills?
Percentage of young adults who misidentify unhealthy relationship behaviors as healthy ones. For example, some people stated that they believe they have the right to know where my partner is most of the time, which they consider to be a healthy relationship dynamic.
What is about a third (~31%)
Marcus's partner occasionally goes silent when he feels overwhelmed but he blatantly refuses to communicate at all while in this state.
What is an unhealthy boundary (Red Flag)
After your partner violates a boundary (inevitable in any romantic relationship), restating why you have the boundary in the first place and that it comes from a place of love and wanting to grow together
What is the technique of reiterating your good intent with contrasting statements?
This means that there is a lack of reciprocal self-disclosure present in a relationship, so the two parties are failing to openly share their thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with little hesitation and/or anxiety.
What is a lack of trust in a romantic relationship?
express issues in timely fashion, make time for communication, maintain sexual fidelity, make time to enjoy leisure activities together, etc.
What are different intimacy-promoting boundaries?
What is 49% (Ages 14-17)
Trinity and her girlfriend like to spend time cuddling and watching their favorite movies together (this typically does not involve any further sexual talk)
What is a healthy boundary (Green Flag)
When establishing new boundaries in romantic relationships, make sure your partner understands that your intent for doing so comes from a loving place and a growth mindset
What is the technique of sharing your good intent?
One of the most common, but difficult aspects of unhealthy boundaries to recognize, defined by the APA as a dysfunctional relationship pattern when one individual (or both) is psychologically dependent or even controlled by the other in a relationship
What is codependency in romantic relationships?