We like them Young
Diets fear this man. You will never catch this player even sniffing added sugar, but put a plate of parmesan cheese in front of him and you’ll think he hasn’t eaten in a week.
Syrus
Hide your food, this freaky Greek puts Giannis to shame and hates Turkey so much he won’t even eat it on Thanksgiving
Jimmy
The guys went to this establishment to get their favorite creamy dish filled with meat
Olive Garden
You can call this player peeping tom with how much he likes looking, having the most plate appearances seeing 6 or more pitches
Our own Anthony Davis, this player may need to see the gynecologist with how much he was injured. Playing on a glass hamstring is never gonna be good
Michael Leddy
Get this man a burger! This player always left other teams thinking that SNU must not feed him enough, and his last name may actually just refer to how a kids small would fit on him
Alex Loos
This player had a career year with a season low number of hangover games as well as not having to uber to a series, but if you ask him to text Larry he may put you down a few hundred doubloons.
Kyle
After our favorite PO channeled his inner Bonds, this celebration was comparable to a linebacker vs a coughing baby. What happened?
GMora getting trucked
MVP? His OBP is through the roof only because he reached on the most errors. Put this player on fraud watch
Syrus
Claiming he’s already washed, this chainsmoker would rather be watching hockey than be on the field
Eric
Mr. Photogenic, this player will definitely flick you up as soon as he’s done mama birding his sack.
Austin
Shot o’clock? Even on the IR this IG model never let anyone go thirsty at parties.
Diego
Sniped from the trees, this moment helped us visualize what it’d look like for Ed Sheeran to taste the dirt. Who or what went down?
GBulter over the fence
This player is better than Ohtani with a career and team high OPS of 1.264 and being tied for most tanks
Gobel
The highlight of this season for this gold glove candidate is that this player really wants to get married
Roman
Candidate for squid of the year, this player will surprise you with his power as he’s always out there doing it for the smaller guys
Jack
Our resident lumpia expert, put this player alone with Jalen Brunson and New York may not be the only thing exploding after the Finals
Alex Marcoline
Jimmy was running scared after being hit with this threat from our favorite Klausner. What was yelled?
"I'm gonna grab your balls"
No free passes, these players tied for the fewest walks allowed.
Blake and Park
A terrorist on the bases, this player couldn’t keep still being picked off 2 times this year. At least he didn’t run into a triple play…
Donno
When this player isn’t spending his free time getting spanked in front of an audience, you’ll be sure to catch him in the back seat of his car discovering how much further the toy will go in
Park
His eyes, dreamy. His smile, magical. This player’s platinum face card is so good it almost saved him from having to replace the table. Now we just have Den Ops.
Blake
This play caused us to see 42 when our president reminded us of when the color barrier was broken. 50% of the time this play will work every time with this man.
Bolton stealing 3rd and home
Call him McQueen, this speed demon swiped a bag every time he reached base
Kenzo
Two in the stinky and one in the pinky, most teams remember this player for what that mouth do
Aidan Ledgard