PUNS
MORE PUNS
EVEN MORE
VERY PUNNY
ULTIMATE PUNS
100
If a dog gave birth to puppies near the road, what would the policeman give her a ticket for?
Littering.
100
The Energizer Bunny stole some sodium cloride. What crime did they charge him with?
Salt & battery.
100
What do you call an envelope that you can't move?
Stationary.
100
What happened to the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
100
What happened to the cannibals that ate a missionary?
They got a taste of religion.
200
What is black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
200
Who killed Tony The Tiger, Count Chocula & Captain Crunch?
A cereal killer.
200
Why don't you need to see more than one shopping center.
Because once you've seen one, you've seen a mall.
200
What do you call someone who has survived pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran.
200
When do you feel most stuck with your debt?
When you can't budge it.
300
What blood type does a pessimist usually have?
B Negative.
300
Why did the guy repeatedly break into song?
Because he couldn't find the key.
300
When you read while in the sun what happens to you?
You become well red.
300
Time flies like an arrow. What do certain insects fly like?
Fruit flies like a banana.
300
Why did the bride get married.
Because she got a new name and a dress.
400
What did the sign at the drug rehabilitation building say?
Keep off the grass.
400
What type of clothing is hardest to find?
Camoflage.
400
What are sea captains least favorite hairdo?
Crew cuts.
400
On a hat rack, what did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I'll go on a head.
400
What happened to the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
500
What is another name for a physicians garden?
A dock yard.
500
What happens if you don't pay your exorcist?
You get repossessed.
500
What did the girl do who was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg?
She broke it off.
500
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
500
Why shouldn't you read a book about anti-gravity?
Because it's impossible to put down.
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