If an electric train is going south, what way is the smoke going?
Electric trains don't smoke!
What has hands, but can’t clap?
A clock!
What is at the end of the rainbow?
The letter W!
What word is always spelled wrong?
The word WRONG!!
What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you?
Your name!
What has four (I) and never see's?
Mississippi!
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
David!
You’re in a race and you pass the person in second place. What place are you in now?
Second place.
I have 13 hearts, but no lungs or stomach. What am I?
A deck of cards!
What is as big as you, but weighs NOTHING?
Your shadow!
What goes through towns and hills but NEVER moves?
A road!
What can’t talk but will reply when spoken to?
An echo!
You see me once in June, twice in November and not at all in May. What am I?
The letter “e”
What tastes better than it smells?
Your tongue!
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A candle!
What goes up, but NEVER comes down?
Your age!
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All the people on the boat are married!
What kind of band never plays music?
A rubber band!!
What building has the most stories?
The library!
It is a coat that is always wet when you put it on. What kind of coat is that?
A coat of paint.
How can you throw a ball as hard as you can only to have it come back to you without it bouncing off of anything?
Throw the ball straight into the air.
A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping. He turned left where there was a “no left turn” sign. And he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still – he didn’t break any traffic laws. Why not?
He was walking…not driving.
There is a pink house made of bricks, a blue house made of bricks, an orange house made of bricks. What color bricks is a greenhouse made of?
A greenhouse is made of glass or plastic, not bricks.
A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first: the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?
None of them, because you can’t get a banana from a coconut tree!
My best friend is older than me, but I was there when he was born. How is that?
Best friend is a dog!