When there’s not quite enough lasagna to go around, this family motto kicks in.
What is FHB (Family Hold Back)?
These ski-trip lunches, beyond recognition, still somehow qualified as “perfectly fine.”
What are “sandwiches run over by a car”?
Known to absentmindedly point his gun at the shooting range and aggressively follow ND football, this friend keeps everyone alert and entertained.
Who is Earl?
This accessory wearing fashion choice defies every ergonomic principle
What is his watch on the wrist?
The subtle head movement and expression that appear when someone makes a questionable decision.
What is the purse & shake?
No matter how many movies he’s seen, these are the one thing he never remembers.
Who are actors?
A family game of tickle tag led to this affectionate alter ego.
Who is the Nipperfish?
He’s happiest pulling these out by hand from the driveway cracks.
What are weeds?
This phrase means there’s no time like the present to complete a task.
What is DIN (Do It Now)?
This early marriage furniture piece combined resourcefulness and rubber.
What is the tire coffee table?
Nashville resident who’s often “maybe” selling his Florida home.
Who is Shep?
His preferred method of quick conversation — often ending in “Later.”
What is voice-to-text?
The delicate finger flourish reserved for moments requiring high-class flair.
What is the “fancy shmancy finger gesture” (Schwankity schwank)?
Every piece of modern technology—phones, tablets, remotes—falls under this universal label.
What are “devices”?
He checks for missed cleaning spots using this… tactile inspection method.
What are his fingernails?
He’s dug more of these in his yard than most people have in a lifetime.
What is a trench?
Uncle John’s favorite exclamation after a good story or lucky break.
What is PTL (Praise the Lord)?
The household nearly divided over this item being thrown out despite its questionable cleanliness.
What is the shower curtain?
The professor whose nickname could double as a Godzilla sequel.
Who is Sam Ranzilla?
If you ever need a DNA sample, check the center console for one of these.
What is car booger napkin?
When Luke makes a good choice, this saying is accompanied by hand indicators rising to signal approval.
What is “J’s up”?
This restaurant name remains an insurmountable spelling challenge.
What is Chipotle?
The household workout routine affectionately named for its age demographic.
What is Geriatric Stretching Hour?
Heavy lifting these was his idea of a good afternoon - and his kids definition of misery
What are rocks?
When Friday rolls around, the neighbors break out the fancy beans for this caffeinated celebration.
What is FCF (Fancy Coffee Friday)?
One season, the family took on this no-cost saving challenge — and sweatily succeeded.
What is no air conditioning all summer?
Lake house owner, and surprising college wild man
Who is Muelmann?
The nickname inspired by an offensive accent rivaling Michael Scott’s best bits
Who is Mr. Chopper?
The family has adapted their speech patterns to avoid receiving one of these from him.
What is a grammar correction / proper grammar lesson?
His now-legendary rehearsal dinner pronunciation of his this name.
What is “Sheeeeera”?
Dessert loyalty runs deep — no restaurant or grocery store treat can compare to this frozen favorite
What is UDF chocolate chip ice cream?
His favorite landscaping task, often resulting in a near-death ladder experiences
What is tree trimming?
The family’s rallying cry whenever this neighbor mom is seen scheming outdoors.
What is MDB (Mah-Dah-Bah)?
For Christmas 2024, his wish list included these second hand fashion staples
What are the Valley Thrift khakis?
A dearly missed friend who loved cigars and good company.
Who is Brian Kearney?
His tendency to laugh uncontrollably at these — even the worst ones.
What are commercials?
If he disapproves, we can be sure there will soon be an entry in this ever-growing document.
What is the adult child manifesto?
When he calls him “Kurt,” everyone knows exactly who he meant to say.
Who is Kirk?
As treasurer of this family institution, he oversees the sweetest multi-generational tradition there is.
What is the Candy Club?
Kids could earn a financial reward for accomplishing this chore - though the wage has been immune to inflation for decades.
What is mowing the lawn?