Peer Pressure
This is the universal 8th-grade response when your mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?"
What is "Yes"?
The delicious, gourmet culinary masterpiece is served on a tray mostly on a Friday.
What is school pizza?
This platform is where your digital reputation goes to die in 4K, usually via a video you thought was "private."
What is TikTok? (or Snapchat)
The first piece of property confiscated by parents effectively cuts off your connection to human civilization.
What is your phone?
The sacred, unbreakable hallway code that is immediately broken the second someone faces two days of lunch detention.
What is "Snitches get stitches"?
The exact number of seconds you have to look at a cringe TikTok trend before someone expects you to do it in the hallway.
What is two seconds?
The highly efficient method of communication that involves screaming across a crowded cafeteria.
What is standard 8th-grade conversation?
The number of minutes you will actually spend studying in High School Civics, compared to hours arguing about politics.
What is zero?
The sarcastic phrase parents use when they lock you in the house for two weeks.
What is "This hurts me more than it hurts you"?
The premium currency is offered to buy your silence about a guy/girl you like.
What are three bags of Blue Takis?
This piece of clothing becomes mandatory the second one popular kid wears it, regardless of weather.
What is a heavy hoodie in July?
The academic luxury of having a teacher give you full credit for a homework assignment you copied in the hallway two minutes before class.
What is middle school grace?
This invisible, berry-scented cloud in the bathroom definitely does not look like a robot's thumb and totally won't ruin your lungs before graduation.
What is a vape? (or e-cigarette)
The amount of fun you are allowed to have while grounded, which is strictly mathematically calculated to be zero.
What is "staring at the wall" levels of fun?
The facial expression exchanged when your friend mentions your name during a principal's interrogation.
What is the ultimate betrayal glare?
The internal panic state is achieved when a friend asks you to try a food that looks like actual mud.
What is "fight or flight"?
The comforting delusion that high school will be "exactly like High School Musical."
What is blind optimism?
The exact amount of useful information about actual human relationships you will learn from watching late-night internet videos.
What is absolutely nothing?
The imaginary crime you are accused of when your parents find a single wrapper under your bed.
What is running a landfill out of your bedroom?
The highest level of cyber-treason, usually involving a screenshot of a message meant for the group chat.
What is a leaked DM?
The ultimate social test involves pretending to like this specific genre of music just to fit into the group chat.
What is underground SoundCloud rap?
When you accidentally bump into someone in the hallway, or you keep staring at him/her in class.
What is when you like someone but don't know how to tell them?
This traditional high school hallway event involves dramatic threats, screaming, and crowds of people filming on phones, but absolutely no actual boxing skills.
What is a hallway fight?
The length of time you are grounded for rolling your eyes so hard they almost got stuck in the back of your head.
What is eternity?
The absolute masterpiece of comedy when you accidentally tell on yourself while trying to lie for your best friend.
What is a self-inflicted snitch?