Connection Before Correction
What is the first step an adult should take when a child shows challenging behavior?
Pause and connect before addressing the behavior.
Challenging behavior is a child’s way of expressing what?
An unmet need or overwhelmed nervous system.
What is the adult’s nervous system supposed to provide for the child?
A calm, regulating presence.
Adults should replace “attention-seeking” with what phrase?
“Connection-seeking” or “skill-seeking.”
Name a physical tool that can help with co-regulation.
Weighted item, fidget, calm corner, sensory toy, breathing ball.
True or False: Children are more likely to change behavior when they feel understood.
True
Name one common unmet need behind challenging behavior.
Tiredness, hunger, overstimulation, need for attention, need for power, sensory need, emotional need.
Name a strategy to calm your own brain before talking to a dysregulated child.
Deep breaths, grounding, positive self-talk, stepping back for a moment.
Which response is more effective: reacting quickly or responding thoughtfully?
Responding thoughtfully.
What is a “warm hand on the back” or “shoulder to shoulder sit” an example of?
A regulating, supportive presence.
This type of connection helps children feel seen, safe, and supported.
Warm, attuned, relationship-based connection.
question should educators ask: “What’s wrong with this child?” or “__________?”
“What’s happening to or within this child?”
True or False: A dysregulated adult cannot help a dysregulated child.
True.
What tone of voice helps soothe an upset child?
Soft, slow, low tone.
Name a simple breathing strategy you can teach a child.
Smell the flower/blow the candle; box breathing; rainbow breathing.
Name one nonverbal way to show connection during a difficult moment.
Kneeling to child’s level, soft eye contact, open posture, gentle tone, slow breathing.
Which brain state is a child in when they are yelling, hitting, or unable to reason?
Survival brain (fight/flight/freeze).
When a child’s emotions are high, what should the adult focus on first?
Co-regulation, not discipline.
Give an example of a validating statement.
“You’re upset, and I’m here with you.” / “That was really hard.” / “You wanted that toy, and you’re disappointed.”
What is one phrase an adult can use during co-regulation?
“I’m here.” “You’re safe.” “Let’s breathe together.” “I won’t let you hit.”
Finish the phrase: “Connection opens the door to ______.”
Cooperation or learning.
Why is logic ineffective during a meltdown?
The thinking brain shuts down; the child cannot access reasoning skills.
What is it called when a caregiver helps a child move from dysregulation back to calm?
Co-regulation.
What three steps help an adult respond instead of react?
Pause → Notice → Choose (or Pause → Breathe → Connect).
What should adults focus on teaching after the child is calm?
Replacement skills (e.g., problem-solving, communication, emotional expression).