What is Accountability?
True or False: Accountability means admitting when you are wrong.
TRUE!
"I was tired, that's why I yelled!"
Excuse!
This explains the behavior, but not taking responsibility for it.
What would you say to fix this?
You bump into someone and say nothing.
Sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you.
Why is it easier to blame others?
pride; not to get in trouble
A. I'm sorry
B. I'm sorry for interrupting you.
B.
Very specific, know what you are sorry for.
Which one shows accountability?
A. "It wasn't my fault."
B. "I made a mistake."
C. "They started it."
B. "I made a mistake."
"I forgot my homework. Is it okay for me to bring it tomorrow or call a parent?"
Ownership
(They admitted that they forgot and offered solutions)
What would you say to fix this?
You were talking during directions
I was talking and missed the directions. Can you repeat them, please?
what is a difference between explanation and excuse
Explanation=give reason/ taking ownership/ telling what happened
(I was upset, but I should not have yelled at you)
Excuse= blaming something else/ not owning it/ saying anything to not get in trouble.
("I yelled because she made me mad")
A. I was upset, but I shouldn't have yelled.
B. I yelled because I was upset.
A.
(Explains feeling but still takes responsibility)
Finish the sentence: Accountability means owning my _______ and my ______.
Actions and Choices
(Will take words, actions, the things I do/done)
"He was doing it too!"
Excuse
(Yes, it might be true that he is doing it too, but also not admitting your participation is shifting the blame off of you to that person.)
What would you say to fix this?
You made fun of someone's shoes.
I shouldn't have said that. That was rude. I'm sorry.
Sorry for making fun of your shoes.
Can you be accountable and have feelings?
YES
(Feelings explain your behavior, but do not excuse it.)
A. I did it, but they did it too!
B. I am sorry for my part.
B.
Focus on your part
can shift the blame to one person
Why does accountability build trust?
Honest, responsible. When you admit mistakes, others feel safer trusting you.
"I shouldn't have said that. I took it too far. That was on me."
Ownership
What would you say to fix this?
Yelled at a friend because you were having a bad day.
I am sorry for yelling. It was not your fault; I was having a bad day.
If you get in trouble for telling the truth, was it worth it?
Yes
(Might be weird, but in the long run, telling the truth will have your back because that builds trust with parents, teachers, and friends. Consequences don't last forever.)
You apologized, but they are still upset
A. Get upset because they are upset that they didn't accept your apology
B. Accept that you did your part, and forgiveness sometimes takes time
B. Accept that you did your part, and forgiveness sometimes takes time
Is this accountability?
"I'm sorry you felt that way."
NO
Why: It shifts the blame to the other person's feelings.
Accountability sounds more like:
"I'm sorry for what I said. That was wrong."
"I only cheated because the test was hard."
Excuse
(The difficulty of the test is not at fault (not responsible); the choice is.)
What would you say to fix this?
Posted something in the group chat, and it spread.
Apologize, delete it
accept consequences (get in trouble, someone's mad, etc...)
What happens when nobody takes accountability?
No trust, drama, nothing is fixed, everyone gets in trouble, loses benefits.
Find two accountability weak spots in this apology.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't mean to, I mean, it wasn't that serious.
But; it wasn't that serious.