Mindfulness
What are the two types of mind?
Wise Mind
Emotion Mind
Reasonable Mind
What does dialectical mean?
There is always more than one way to see a situation and more than one way to solve a problem.
Define validation
Validation communicates to another person that his or her feelings, thoughts, and actions make sense and are understandable to you in a particular situation.
What are some examples of behaviors to increase?
exercising, saving money, going to school, doing homework.
Define Self-Validation
Self-validation involves perceiving your own feelings, thoughts and actions as making sense, accurate and acceptable in a particular situation.
What can being mindful do for us?
1. Give you more choices and control over your behavior.
2. Reduce your emotional suffering.
3. Help you make important decisions.
4. Help focus your attention.
5. Increase compassion.
6. Lessen pain, tension and stress.
What does this perspective teach us?
It allows us to:
Expand our thoughts and ways of considering life situations.
Unstick standoffs and conflicts.
Be more flexible and approaching.
Avoid assumptions and blaming.
Define Invalidation
Invalidation communicated (intentionally or not, through words or actions) that another person's feelings, thoughts and actions in a particular situation make no sense, are manipulative, stupid or an overreaction, or not worthy of your time, interest or respect.
What is a reinforcer?
Reinforcers are consequences that result in an increase in a behavior. They provide information to a person about what you want them to do.
What is the most important thing about validation that we need to remember?
What are the three states of mind?
Reasonable, Wise and Emotional Mind
What is an example of being dialectical?
"I am doing the best I can AND I need to do better, try harder, and be more motivated to change.
Why do we validate?
Validation improves relationships. It can decrease conflict and intense emotions. It shows that we are listening, we understand, and we are being nonjudgmental.
What is positive and negative reinforcement?
Positive Reinforcement: increases the frequency of a behavior by providing a "rewarding" consequence.
Negative Reinforcement: Increases the frequency of a behaviors by removing something negative; it is a relief from something unpleasant.
What do we validate?
Feelings, thoughts and behaviors in ourselves and others.
What are the "what" skills?
Observe, Describe and participate.
Name four hints for thinking and acting dialectically.
1. Move to both/and thinking.
2. Practice looking at all side of the situation.
3. Remember there are no absolute truths.
4. Use I feel statements.
5. Accept that different opinions can be valid.
6. Check your assumptions.
7. Do not expect others to know what you are thinking.
Name four ways to validate others.
See WMP handout 9.
What is extinction?
Extinction reduces a behavior by withholding previous reinforcement. What attention is reinforcing, ignore the unwanted behavior.
What does it mean to validate the valid and not the invalid?
You can still validate the feeling without validating the behavior. For example: validate someone feeling upset about a low test grade, even though you know he or she didn't study, but don't validate the lack of studying that led to the low grade.
What are the "how" skills?
Nonjudgmentalness, One thing at a time, and effectiveness.
Name five thinking mistakes.
See WMP handout 3.
Name five ways to validate ourselves.
See WMP handout 10
What is punishment?
Punishment is a consequence that results in a decrease in behavior. It tells another person what you don't want him or her to do.
What are the three dialectical dilemmas?
Too loose <-> Too strict
Fostering dependence <-> Forcing independence
Making light of problem behaviors <-> Making too much of typical adolescent behavior