Science of Connection
True or False: Having close friends is linked to lower rates of depression.
True
"Observation Without Evaluation" is a primary principle of NVC when noticing another person's behavior without judgement. Change the following evaluation into an observation:
“You’re so disrespectful. You never listen to me when I talk to you.”
*Hint: Could a camera have recorded it? If yes, it’s likely an observation rather than a judgment.
“When you interrupted me three times during this conversation, or you appear to be using your phone when I am speaking…”
This reduces defensiveness because you are describing observable behavior rather than attacking character.
This social media platform is used for organizing interest groups for in-person or virtual gatherings to meet new people, learn new things, find support, get out of their comfort zones, and pursue their passions, together, in their local community.
"Lack of time" is a commonly reported obstacle for adults to make friends. What is a way to overcome this barrier?
Schedule specific times to connect
Invite friends to join regular activities (like errands, workouts, or meals)
Viewing friendships as essential for well-being rather than as “extra” or optional.
You joined a volleyball meetup group to meet new people and be active. Great job! You just finished playing a match with your team. How can you start an open conversation to begin connecting without asking about work?
Bonus points (100pts.): What is the difference between a closed and an open question?
What else do you like to do for fun? What brought you here? What do you like most about playing volleyball?
Open-ended questions encourage detailed, qualitative answers (what,” “how,” or “why"), while closed-ended questions, such as yes/no
What hormone often increases when we experience bonding and trust?
Oxytocin
What is a difference between a request and a demand? (100pts.) And give an example of each for the same situation. (50 pts. each)
In NVC, the main difference is whether the other person is truly free to say “no” without consequences for the relationship or their worth.
Request: Would you be willing to text me if you’re going to be late?
Demand: You have to text me or you don’t care about me.
POSSIBLE DAILY DOUBLE!
This type of meeting focuses on supporting recovery from substance addictions, behavioral addictions and compulsions. It is also a way to meet others on their recovery journey for a support system outside of programs.
Name as many different 12-steps programs you know(200 points for naming at least 5, 400 bonus points for naming at least 10).
"Introversion" is a commonly reported obstacle for adults to make friends. How can introverts use their natural strengths to make friends?
By being good listeners, asking thoughtful questions, and creating meaningful conversations (not small talk), prepare a few topics or questions in advance.
Focus on quality over quantity—building deeper connections with a few people rather than many.
What are two ways to show your appreciation to a new friend?
Verbal affirmation, remembering details, small gestures, invitations, written notes, thank-you texts etc.
According to the longest study on happiness, what was found to be the number one factor that makes us happy in life and helps us ‘live longer’?
The quality of one's social relationships.
Examples of feelings in conflict may include: frustration, anxious, hurt, disappointment, and overwhelm.
Why might “ignored”, “manipulated”, or “betrayed” may not technically count as feelings according to NVC?
Those imply assumptions about the other person’s intent.
*Conflict often de-escalates when people feel emotionally understood rather than morally condemned in NVC.
The popular dating app Bumble, isn't just used for finding love; it also offers two additional in-app services on their platform. Name these two services.
"Buzz" Business Networking and Bumble BFF
"Being Too Picky" is a commonly reported obstacle for adults to make friends. How can being too selective get in the way of making friends?
Bonus 100 pts: What is a way to overcome this?
It can cause missed opportunities to connect with people who don’t fit a perfect mold but could still bring joy and support.
* Give new people a few chances before deciding whether the connection is worth pursuing, focus on shared values, and appreciate their strengths rather than their flaws to build lasting. * friendships.
You joined a running club and you do not know a single person there. What do you do if your intention is to meet new people?
Grab a bite afterwards, ask questions that are practical, share this is your first time, ask questions to get to know someone, maybe exchange numbers or see if there is a group message/online communication for the team.
What part of the brain is stimulated when we feel socially connected, helping reduce stress?
Feeling socially connected activates parts of the "social brain" network, including the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala (which is dampened, reducing stress), and the nucleus accumbens, which is a key part of the brain's reward system.
Identifying human needs is an important aspect in NVC. What are some possible needs of both perspectives in the following scenario:
One person: “Why do you take hours to reply?”
Other person: “I don’t want to be glued to my phone.”
Connection, reassurance, reliability
vs.
Focus, autonomy, mental space
This online resource can be utilize by users "to browse, create, and promote local events" in cities across the US.
Adults often struggle to make friends because of this worry, which can be eased by practicing conversations, joining interest-based groups, gradual exposure to new people, and viewing declines as a normal part of connecting. What is this worry?
Fear of Rejection
Name 4 ways to be more active in your local community.
Try a rec class, join a hobby/interest club, spiritual center, reconnect with old friends and family, volunteering, support groups, attend local business events.
How might social connection impact the following dimensions of health: physical, mental/emotional, cognitive, occupational, and spiritual?
100pts each
Up to the Discretion of the Judge. Generally, should refer to the following:
Lower BP, lower risk of cardiovascular disease, boost immune system, lower depression and anxiety, improve resilience, sense of belonging, memory, attention, language, problem solving, improve work satisfaction, growth opportunities, reduce burnout, provide sense of community, altruism.
NVC's framework includes observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Give a statement to a friend who keeps showing up over an hour late to gatherings and makes you upset. Use all of the NVC's aspects.
A common structure is: “When I observe ___, I feel ___ because I need/value ___. Would you be willing to ___?”
ex: “When we agree to meet at 6 and you usually arrive closer to 6:30, I feel frustrated and a bit disconnected because I value reliability and shared respect for each other’s time. Would you be willing to let me know ahead of time if you think you’ll be late?
This community resource in Charlotte, NC is where you can go to sign up for programs including kayaking, sports leagues, nature walks, pickleball, line dancing, karaoke, swimming, art, and educational classes.
Mecklenburg County Parks & Recreation
or
YMCA
What is YOUR biggest personal barrier that prevents you from making more friends/social support in adulthood?
What have you tried to do to address it?
What is one thing you haven't tried yet that you could use to overcome it? (must answer all 3 for 500 points)
Up to the Discretion of the Judge: Generally responses should be defended by clients for authenticity.
What’s a step-by-step plan for turning an acquaintance into a friend?
1) Initiate contact, 2) Find shared interest, 3) Invite to spend time, 4) Open up gradually, 5) Keep showing up