What if?
You really want a hug, but the other person doesn't
Respect the other persons decision
say "okay" or "I understand"
Sally asks "Can I have a Hug?"
Rebecca replies." No thank you."
Sally becomes mad and says angrily " Well you must not be my friend then!"
When someone does not want a hug or to be touched, it can be easy to feel hurt or embarrassed. It is important to remember that not everyone likes to be touched or hugged. If Sally did not want hug from Rebecca, Sally would want Rebecca to respect her wishes.
What is consent?
to give permission, to say "yes" or "no", or to be allowed to do something
The other person says "no" but they're smiling
Even though the person maybe smiling, they still said no. In this scenario we would listen to the words spoken versus the facial expression
Why is it important for someone to give verbal consent?
Body language and facial expressions can often be misinterpreted. When a person says "no" or "yes" it sends a clear message to the other person about their wants or needs.
"Nah, I'm good right now" or "ask me again later"
not consent
You want to touch someone and the other person nods their head
To make sure you are getting consent, ask your friend if that is a yes or no. Verbal answers are clear and usually easy to understand
Nick wants to give his friend a hug but doesn't know if she wants a hug. When she leans toward him, Nick thinks it would be okay and hugs her.
although leaning towards someone might show comfort or trust, consent should be given verbally so that each person clearly understands what the other wants
"Maybe another time" or "I don't feel like it right now"
not consent
You are in the middle of a hug, and the person changes their mind?
Everyone has the right to change their mind. You can respect their decision and step back. or say " I understand, thank you for letting me know."
Nikki has been crying over a fight with her brother. Her friend, Samantha, gives her a hug to comfort her.
Although Samantha wanted to make her friend feel better or show that she cares, Samantha should ask if Nikki wants a hug.
"I'll allow that" or "I'm okay with that" or "Yes"
consent
The person let you hug them yesterday, but they don't want a hug today?
Just because consent has been given one time, we cannot assume that we can give them a hug another time without permission.
Susie and Billy like each other and decide to become boyfriend and girlfriend. Is it okay for Susie to give Billy a hug without his permission?
Even though Susie and Billy are boyfriend and girlfriend, Susie still needs to get consent from Billy to give him a hug.
When do we need to ask for CONSENT?
Giving hugs, borrowing things, touching another person, kissing, sharing, and secrets