PET PEEVES
This bodily function immediately ruins his day.
This doomed ship somehow becomes a 45-minute conversation.
What is the Titanic?
He was born on this date.
What is June 12, 1996?
He’s known to leave it all on the court, especially at this preferred venue just off the 401, where effort tends to outlast hydration.
What is Pine Point?
A group of twenty-somethings spends an unrealistic amount of time in a coffee shop, despite apparently never having jobs or moving out of the same neighbourhood.
What is Friends?
He believes this institution takes too much of everyone’s money.
What is the government/taxes?
This fantasy series has consumed a concerning amount of his personality.
What is Lord of the Rings?
This Irish beer is his drink of choice.
What is Guinness?
In his ideal version of the game, this piece of equipment is the first thing on the chopping block in the name of “bringing back the fun.”
What are hockey helmets?
Therapy sessions and family dinners often overlap in this series, where business is conducted in a way that would concern most HR departments.
What is The Sopranos?
Despite having access to the same screen as everyone else, a person guilty of this pet peeve treats every movie like an open-book exam the rest of the room has already taken.
What is asking questions during a TV show or movie?
He could explain the process for obtaining this European document for hours.
What is Italian citizenship/passport?
This is his favourite food.
What is pasta?
This shouted instruction is as much personality as it is technique. Often used as a frantic defensive save for ATZA.
What is “dig”?
Two men repeatedly infiltrate formal events under false identities, treating matrimonial celebrations as an extreme sport.
What is Wedding Crashers?
This type of dessert is unacceptable in his eyes.
What are fruit-filled desserts?
He somehow connects every historical discussion back to this global conflict.
What is World War II?
This is the location where he completed his master’s degree.
Where is Milan/Lecco?
Completed in under two hours with minimal regard for preparation, this distance event relied more on optimism than training plans.
What is a half marathon?
A group of outsiders notices something broken in the financial system and profits from explaining it in increasingly unconventional ways.
What is The Big Short?
This in-flight maneuver is considered a personal attack.
What is reclining your seat on a flight?
No conversation is safe from a discussion about these federal rules and restrictions.
What are gun laws?
This is his middle name.
Who is Salvatore?
This sport has received more financial commitment from him than actual playing time—by a comfortable margin.
What is golf?
A sprawling rise-and-fall narrative that tracks loyalty, excess, and the eventual consequences of always ordering the special.
What is Goodfellas?