The Roots of our Rage
This is often the first place we learn how to deal with, or not deal with, strong emotions like anger.
What is our family of origin or childhood experiences?
What is a common anger trigger for you?
a specific person, situation, or thought
What is a quick de-escalation technique you can use when anger starts?
Taking several slow, deep breaths, counting to ten, or splashing water on my face.
How can anger contribute to relapse or substance use?
Using substances to numb, avoid, or escape uncomfortable angry feelings.
How would you communicate your anger effectively in this situation?
Your roommate consistently leaves dirty dishes in the sink, even after you've asked them not to. You feel annoyed.
What are indirect ways we might express anger?
Slamming doors, giving the silent treatment, or gossiping about someone instead of talking to them directly.
What are some physical signs that your anger is building?
My jaw clenches, my shoulders tense, and my heart starts to race.
What is an example of an "I" statement for communicating anger constructively?
Saying "I feel angry when you..."
What is emotional sobriety in recovery?
Learning to identify and express emotions directly and healthily, rather than stuffing them down, is a key part of this.
What immediate coping strategy would you use to calm down?
You're stuck in heavy traffic and are running late for an important appointment. You feel your blood pressure rising.
What are core beliefs formed about anger in childhood?
Believing "anger is dangerous" or "I shouldn't feel angry" often comes from these early life lessons.
What are some early emotional warning signs of anger?
Feeling annoyed, frustrated, irritated, or defensive are all early emotional cues that anger is starting to brew.
What is taking a "time-out" from an anger-provoking situation?
This involves stepping away from the situation to calm down before re-engaging, like taking a walk or listening to music.
This involves owning my actions and making amends when my anger has caused harm to others.
Taking responsibility for angry outbursts and making amends
How would you respond to this comment without escalating the conflict?
Someone in your group makes a dismissive comment about your sobriety journey, and you feel a surge of defensiveness and anger.
If your family always avoided conflict or pretended everything was fine, you might have learned to do this with your own anger?
What is suppressing or stuffing down your anger?
What are some mental signs or thoughts that indicate rising anger?
When I start replaying an upsetting conversation in my head repeatedly or jump to negative conclusions about someone's intentions.
What are some self-care practices that help with anger management?
Regularly getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and finding healthy ways to relax.
What is it called when I start to feel intense anger, and reach out to my sponsor, a trusted group member, or a therapist for support?
Utilizing your support system to manage anger in recovery
What steps would you take to change this anger response?
You realize that a pattern of yelling when angry is damaging your relationship with a loved one.
What are some deeper feelings or unmet needs that often lie beneath your anger?
Feeling disrespected, misunderstood, or having my boundaries crossed are often underlying reasons why my anger gets activated.
What is cognitive reframing or challenging negative thoughts?
This is the practice of consciously changing negative or accusatory thoughts into more neutral or understanding ones.
How can anger, when managed effectively, be a helpful emotion in recovery?
Recognizing that anger can be a signal that a boundary has been crossed or a need isn't being met, which can lead to positive change instead of destruction.
How can you acknowledge this anger and work towards healing without letting it consume you?
You feel a deep sense of anger about past injustices in your life that led to your substance use.