What Anger really is
Anger is considered a ______ emotion because it often covers other feelings.
Secondary; Anger shows up on top, but under it there’s usually fear or worry.
What you can do: Pause and ask yourself, ‘What’s the real feeling under this?’”
Anger can show up when someone feels scared or worried and has no ______.
Control. Being scared and stuck makes anger explode.
What you can do: Say ‘I need a minute’ instead of blowing up.
A tantrum in an older kid usually means the nervous system is ______.
Dysregulated. Your system is overloaded.
What you can do: Get your body calm first — cold water, movement, or quiet.
Respect requires access to the ______ part of the brain.
Thinking brain. Respect comes after calm.
What you can do: Regulate first, then respond.
Anger often shows up when someone feels what underneath and doesn't know how to handle it.
Fear / Worry / feeling unsafe
Remember: Anger is a secondary emotion and usually covering another feeling.
When you notice, pause and ask, "What am I actually feeling right now?"
That helps you respond instead of crash out.
True or False: Anger usually shows up first in the brain.
False. Your body reacts before you think.
What you can do: Slow your breathing for 10 seconds before reacting.
True or False: Losing control over life decisions can dysregulate the nervous system.
When adults decide everything, your body reacts.
What you can do: Ask for choices where you can have a say.
True or False: Tantrums are always intentional.
False. It’s happening, not planned.
What you can do: Learn early signs so you can stop it sooner.
True or False: You can feel angry and still choose respect once calm.
True. Anger doesn’t control you once calm.
Before respect, problem-solving, or consequences can work, the nervous system needs what first?
Calm / regulation
Remember: You can't think or be respectful when your body isn't calm.
Calm your body first (breathing, space, movemnet), then deal with the situation.
No calm = no good choices
Name one emotion anger often protects.
Fear / worry / sadness
Anger protects feelings that feel uncomfortable.
What you can do: Name the feeling instead of acting it out.
When kids feel powerless, anger may come out as ______.
Yelling / disrespect / tantrums
Anger comes out in actions when words don’t.
What you can do: Use one sentence instead of actions: ‘I’m not okay right now.’
When someone crashes out, which part of the brain is offline?
Prefrontal cortex. The thinking brain shuts down.
What you can do: Don’t argue — step away until calm returns.
Setting a boundary is about controlling ______, not others.
Yourself. You control you.
What you can do: Say what you need instead of demanding.
What part of the brain needs to come back online before good choices are possible?
Thinking brain/ prefrontal cortex
Remember: When your angry your thinking brain goes offline.
Don't argue or make decisions while heated. Step away, calm down, then come back when your thinking brain is on.When the brain senses threat or loss of control, it activates the ______ system.
Fight-or-flight. That’s survival mode.
What you can do: Take space, move your body, or ground yourself before talking.
Pushing people away can be a way to protect yourself from getting ______.
Hurt. Pushing people away feels safer sometimes.
What you can do: Take space without disrespect — say "I need a break."
Before talking about consequences, the body needs ______.
Calm. Calm first, talk second.
What you can do: Ask for a pause instead of pushing through.
Disrespect during anger usually reflects ______, not character.
Stress. Stress talks louder than logic.
What you can do: Fix stress before fixing behavior.
When life feels out of your control, what is the most powerful thing you can control?
You- your responses and your choices.
You don't control everything-- but you always can control how you respond.
Even when adults or situations feel unfair, choosing your response gives you power and keeps you out of trouble.
Anger is often the body’s way of trying to regain ______.
Control. Anger tries to take power back.
What you can do: Choose one small thing you can control right now.
Anger doesn’t mean a kid is bad — it usually means they are ______.
Overwhelmed. Overwhelm isn’t your fault.
What you can do: Lower the intensity — breathe, sit, or ground.
Crash-outs are a sign the brain needs ______, not punishment.
Regulation. You need help, not trouble.
What you can do: Use your calm-down plan before it explodes
Teaching respect starts with teaching ______.
Regulation. Calm builds respect.
What you can do: Practice calming skills daily, not just in crisis.
When anger takes over and leads to a crash-out, what is the most important next step to take?
Repair / take responsibility/ take accountability / make it right
Remember: Everyone loses control sometimes-- what matters is what you do after.
After you calm down, take responsibility by repairing the situation (apologize, explain, clean up, reset).
Repair builds trust and keeps one mistake from becoming a bigger problem.