Anger
How is anger different than aggression?
Anger is an emotion. Aggression is a behavior. A person can feel angry without acting aggressive.
What is the anger meter?
The anger meter is a tool used to measure one's anger from a scale of 1 to 10. 1 is a lack of anger, calm and 10 is intense anger, feelings that you may lose control.
Name one Superhero.
BONUS: Name their undercover name too.
Example:
Batman and Bruce Wayne
Superman and Clark Kent
What does the "A" stand for in the ABCD method?
A = Activating Event
Identify the B, belief, in the following story:
Heather feels angry because her mother broke her T.V. remote. Heather believes her mother should be more careful with her stuff. Heather then yells at her mother.
Belief:
"My mother should be more careful with my stuff."
Shoulds, musts, and always are buzz words that let us know when our beliefs are not helpful or based in reality.
True or False? A person cannot change how they express anger, it is a fixed trait.
False!
It is possible to learn more appropriate ways of expressing anger.
True or False? Everyone experiences anger in different ways including intensity, duration, and manner.
True!
Everyone experiences anger differently.
What is the best pizza topping and why?
Personal Opinion
Pepperoni because it adds flavor.
What does the "B" stand for in the ABCD method?
B = Beliefs
Identify the A,activating event, in the following story:
Heather feels angry because her mother broke her T.V. remote. Heather believes her mother should be more careful with her stuff. Heather then yells at her mother.
Activating Event:
Heather's mother broke her T.V. remote.
The activating event may not always be as clear as this one which is why we separate a situation into ABCD
What is one payoff or benefit of anger? What is one consequence of acting on your anger?
Short term payoffs:
-Controlling/manipulating others through intimidating behaviors
-Release of tension after losing temper and acting aggressively
Consequences:
-If you use intimidation to get a loved one to stay or do what you want (short term payoff), in the long term of the relationship, they may grow to dislike you, resent you, or not want to see you anymore
Name 3 *specific* strategies we have talked about in group for managing anger.
1. Take a time out
2. Rely on social supports
3. Deep Breathing Exercise
BONUS 4. Muscle Relaxation Exercise
Would you rather be a giant hamster or a tiny rhino?
No wrong answers!
What does the "C" stand for in the ABCD method?
C = Consequences: Emotions or Behaviors due to Beliefs
Identify the C, consequences (emotions and behaviors), in the following story:
Heather feels angry because her mother broke her T.V. remote. Heather believes her mother should be more careful with her stuff. Heather then yells at her mother.
Consequences (emotions and behaviors):
Heather feels angry. Heather yelled at her mother.
These consequences are a result of Heather's beliefs.
True or False? People must be aggressive to get what they want.
False!
You can be assertive, not aggressive, and express feelings of anger in a way that is respectful of other people.
Name one of each type of anger cue:
Physical, Behavioral, Emotional, Cognitive.
Physical: Heart racing, feeling flushed
Behavioral: Clenching fists, pacing, slamming a door, raising voice
Emotional: Feeling abandoned, afraid, disrespected, guilty, humiliated, impatient, insecure, jealous, or rejected
Cognitive: Interpreting events i.e., interpreting a friend's comment as criticism because we are angry, self-talk that is critical or hostile, imagining getting revenge on someone, or imagining a worst case scenario
A pet shop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot.
How can this be?
The parrot was deaf.
What does the "D" stand for in the ABCD method?
D = Dispute the Beliefs
Identify how Heather may Dispute her belief in the following story:
Heather feels angry because her mother broke her T.V. remote. Heather believes her mother should be more careful with her stuff. Heather then yells at her mother.
Dispute:
Accidents happen and I cannot control them.
I can ask my mother to be more careful in the future.
I cannot control other people. I can tell them that I am angry and ask for changes in the future.
How are anger, hostility, and aggression different from each other?
Anger is an emotion. Aggression is a behavior. Hostility is an attitude that involves disliking others and evaluating them negatively.
What are the 3 phases of the Aggression Cycle?
Buildup of Anger/Aggression: cues
Explosion: verbal aggression, destruction, violence
Aftermath: consequences occur, loss of job, jail, loss of relationships
Would you rather live on a boat that will sink if you leave the harbor or live in a plane that will break if you try to fly it?
No wrong answers!
What does REBT stand for and what does it mean?
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is a therapy in which you identify the ABCD, activating event, beliefs, consequences, and dispute these beliefs in order to change your thoughts about a situation and change your behavior in that situation.
How can you determine of your B, Beliefs, are maladaptive or unreasonable?
Beliefs are usually unreasonable when they include words like always, must, or should. For example, "I must be respected and treated fairly by everyone." You can dispute this with "I cannot expect to be treated fairly by everyone". People will sometimes be rude to you and treat you unfairly, it is unavoidable. This is unfortunate but it is better to accept the unfairness that can happen than to you from day-to-day than to get angry about it and make bad choices.