Bad Dad Bible Jokes
This is what Adam said on the day before Christmas.
What is, “It’s Christmas, Eve”?
Total number of Books in the Bible ÷ 2.
What is 33?
This person anointed Saul as first king of Israel.
Who is Samuel?
These are two colors of the “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse”. (Revelation 6:1-8)
What are white, red, black, and pale?
This was Abraham’s first name.
What is “Abram”?
This is the time of day when Adam was created.
What is, “A little before Eve”?
13th Book of the Old Testament.
What is 1 Chronicles?
One meaning of “Messiah” is this.
What is “anointed one”?
2 of the 4 living creatures around the throne in heaven, described in Revelation 4.
What are a lion, an ox, a creature with the face of a man, and an eagle?
The Apostle Paul used to go by this name.
What is “John Wick”? (Just kidding! His original name was “Saul”.)
This Bible character had no parents.
Who is “Joshua, son of Nun”?
This New Testament author wrote 5 books.
Who is John (author of the Gospel of John, 1-3 John, Revelation)?
David was anointed by this person as the second king of Israel.
Who is Samuel?
List 2 of the 7 churches in Asia Minor which received divine encouragements and warnings in Revelation 2 and 3.
What are: Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia, and Laodicea?
Peter, the New Testament apostle whose name means “rock,” started out with this name.
What is “Simon”?
This is the first math problem mentioned in the Bible.
What is Genesis 1:28: “Go forth and multiply”?
Number of Bible books named after a woman.
What is 2? (Ruth and Esther)
A special oil of anointed, detailed in Exodus 30:22-29, was used to anoint these sacred objects.
What are the Tabernacle, Ark of the Covenant, Tabernacle furnishings (altars), priests serving in the sanctuary?
In Revelation 8:10-11, this is the unusual name of the star that falls from heaven.
What is “Wormwood”?
The man “Israel” began life with this name.
What is “Jacob”?
Cane hated his brother this long.
What is, “As long as he was Abel”?
Longest book of the Bible by word count.
What is Jeremiah? (33,002) in Hebrew
B: Genesis (32,046) in Hebrew
C: Psalms (30,147) in Hebrew
Shortest = 3 John (219 words) in Greek
James 5:14-15 says elders are to anoint these people.
Who are the sick?
Revelation 21:23 says these two celestial bodies will not be needed in heaven.
What are the sun and moon?
Naomi, in Ruth 1:20, told people to call her this sad name.
What is “Mara” or “bitter”?