Toddlers
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I scream
What’s Peter Pan’s favorite restaurant?
Wendy's
What kind of music do mummies love?
Wrap music
What insurance company is spread across the entire country?
Allstate
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
To look for Pooh
What does a cow do for fun?
It goes to the moooo-vies.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case they got a hole in one.
What did Fleetwood Mac get insurance for?
Landslides
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
Dino-SNORE!
What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele?
Hello, it’s Smee!
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives
What did the Allstate agent say to Adam and Eve?
It looks like you need some coverage.
Why did the fart miss graduation?
It got expelled
What does one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you!”
Where does Captain Hook go to get his hook replaced?
The second-hand store
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes
Why was the Chef rejected in underwriting?
They were high whisk
Why did the cop sit on the toilet?
To do his duty
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You'd think it's the "Arr" but it's really the "Sea"
What did the 101 Dalmatians say after lunch?
That hit the spot
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi
How many actuaries would it take to change one light bulb?
Depends on how many it took last year.
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private "tooter"