Understanding assertiveness
What is assertiveness?
Assertiveness is expressing yourself (and your needs) while respecting others.
I mean, I guess I could do it…unless someone else wants to. If you're too busy to do it, then I *could* do it.
Passive.
True or false: Assertiveness means getting what you want.
False. Assertiveness means asking for what you want/need, but unfortunately, we may not always get it. Often assertiveness involves compromise.
Your friend demands access to your phone because they're concerned you could be talking to other friends than them
Unhealthy!
What is the largest ocean on Earth?
Pacific Ocean
Give two examples of behaviors that are not assertive.
Avoiding conflict, blaming others, getting defensive, giving in to peer pressure, letting others control what you say or do, saying "yes" when you mean "no," yelling.
We always do things your way! This time we're doing it my way!
Aggressive
False: It's okay to set a boundary if you are not able to help someone with something.
You call your friend to vent about your new relationship. Your friend says she's sorry you're going through that, but she's not able to talk right now and asks if you can catch up sometime tomorrow.
Healthy.
What's the only mammal that can fly?
A bat.
Assertive is being like what kind of animal?
Owl! Wise and calm
I understand your point, but I still disagree. Here’s why…
Assertive
True or false: It's impossible to be both passive and aggressive at the same time.
False: Being passive aggressive can look like agreeing to someone else's demands, then making an excuse to back out at the last minute, so you will not have to deal with conflict.
You ask a friend to go with you to see a movie. Your friend says yes. The day you're supposed to meet up, your friend cancels last minute, saying she's sick. A week later, your friend admits she really just didn't want to go to the movie with you but was worried about hurting your feelings by saying no.
Unhealthy.
How many days is New Directions open per week?
Four days, soon to be five.
What kind of voice do you use when you are assertive?
Calm, respectful, and direct
You never help! Why am I always the one stuck with everything?
Aggressive
True or false: Sometimes the best way to communicate is to scream at people.
Mostly false: When you're upset with someone and need them to hear what you are saying, shouting is more likely to put them on the defensive than to open communication.
Your friend is supportive and understanding when you need to talk.
Healthy.
What is the largest island in the world?
Greenland
What is an example of a boundary? Why are they important?
Please ask before you take my things. They allow us to feel safe and give expectations for how we want to e treated.
I’m happy to help this time, but I won’t be able to take this on every week.
Assertive
True or false: Good people never slip into passive or aggressive communication.
False. Everyone has bad days, and everyone makes mistakes!
Your friend is constantly giving you unwanted advice. Every time you share anything about your life, your friend tells you how you should have done things differently.
Unhealthy.
What is the most abundant element in the Earth's crust?
Oxygen!