The Gang's All Here!
Hypothetically speaking...
Astrology is fake and so are these people
Keeping Up
Bonus just for funsies name that sign: Alice in Wonderland Edition
100

This inner planet is responsible for daily communication.

What is Mercury?

100

A person with a sun in this sign might have a bad habit of starting new hobbies that never seem to satisfy. If they stuck with it longer, it might turn out differently, but they usually don't. There's do much to learn for one lifetime.

What is Gemini?

100

Steve Rogers displays the nurturing cardinal energy of this sun sign. And hey, would you look at that! It's canon!

What is Cancer?

100

Kim and Kourtney are an absolutely iconic example of these two cardinal opposite signs. 

What are Libra and Aries?

100

"But aren't you going to run and help her?" Alice asked... "No use, no use!" said the King. "She runs so fearfully quick you might as well try to catch a Bandersnatch!"

What is Aries?

200

This planet represents both aesthetics and visceral pleasure.

What is Venus?

200

People with a moon in this sign have a small, consistent collection of creature comforts. What can they say? They like what they like. 

What is Taurus?

200

Edward Cullen, judging by the Everything About Him (restriction, self-induced pressure, etc.), is definitely this sun sign through and through.

What is Capricorn?

200

The Kardashian/Jenner clan is dominated by these two modalities. No hints. Just guessing.

What is cardinal and fixed?

200

"She's in that state of mind," said the White Queen, "That she wants to deny something- only she doesn't know what to say!"

What is Libra?

300

Besides the sun, this is the only planetary body that does not retrograde.

What is the moon:)
300

This aspect between two people's sun signs might be difficult to navigate, but eventually yields powerful, fascinating results if treated with respect.

What is a square?

300

Rick Sanchez's habit of expanding the universe has left him cynical and wretched. He reached too far. He knows too much. Nothing left to explore. A nightmare for this sun sign.

What is Sagittarius?

300

Kanye West is a Gemini sun, making his and Libra sun Kim's marriage this aspect.

What is a trine?

300

She had never quite forgotten that if you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison', it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later. Sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears to her eyes.

What is Virgo?

400

This planet usually changes signs just about every two months, making it the personal planet with the slowest orbit.

What is Mars?

400

Venuses in this element generally have little care for commitment. The fixed sign version will be more open to it. But the other two would prefer a lover they never have to see. 

What is fire?

400

Azula's simmering, steady, overwhelming pride fits rather well into the archetype of this sign.

What is Leo?
400

Fixed, powerful, secretive, forceful. There's nothing Kris Jenner can't do with her usage of this sun sign. 

What is Scorpio?

400

But Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the way things to happen that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way... Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea- And welcome Queen Alice with thirty times three!

What is Aquarius?

500

The world is 'sickened' by the revelations of this planetary body. Like a volcanic eruption, it signifies destructive change brought forth from the deep.

What is Pluto?

500

A Saturn return in this house might have to do with an overhaul of the journey you are currently on, redirecting you to purposefully reach in a more fulfilling direction.

What is the 9H

500

Although classically mischaracterized as a Virgo, Belle's  steady nature and stubborn ability to do exactly what she pleases in a, somehow, graceful manner makes me think she is more of this fixed sun sign. 

What is a Taurus?

500

Kanye sure did do a good job of bringing mutable energy into the Kardashian family while he was there. Even his daughter's chart is almost entirely in Gemini, her moon in this other mercurial sign. That'll be interesting.

What is Virgo?

500

'I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly. You make one quite giddy!" This time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained for sometime after the rest of it had gone.

What is Gemini?

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