Secure Attachment
How secure attachment is characterized
- Empathetic
-Able to set appropriate boundaries
-Warm with love come naturally
-Able to effectually resolve conflicts
How Anxious Attachment is characterized
-Giving up their needs to please and accommodate others
-Preoccupied and highly attuned to your partner
-Worried that partner wants less closeness or will leave/abandon you
-Alleviating anxiety by being controlling or manipulating to get attention
-Highly emotional and dependent
How Dismissive-Avoidant attachment is characterized
-Easily able to cut off difficult emotions, dismiss others' emotions
-Instead of craving intimacy, they are wary of closeness
How Fearful-Avoidant attachment is characterized
-Conscious of wanting closeness but distrust or are fearful of it
-Afraid of being both too close to and too distant from others
Define attachment
an emotional bond/connection with another person
Some of the benefits of secure attachment
1. Provides a sense of safety and security
2. Regulates emotions by soothing distress, creating joy, and supporting calm.
3. More long-term healthy relationships
4. Increased ability to trust others
What Anxious Attachment is rooted in
Fear of abandonment and insecurity, fear of not being loved or appreciated
How individuals with this style are viewed by others
Strongly Independent
Can be cold emotionally
How individuals with this style are viewed by others
Socially avoidant, hot and cold
The most ideal/beneficial attachment style
Secure Attachment
What should security not be equated to
Security should not be equated with perfection; Individuals with secure attachment have conflict and bad days like everyone else
How individuals with Anxious style are viewed by others
Needy
Too emotional
Can be manipulative and controlling
Way of acting when partner threatens to leave them
Shut emotions down and pretend to not care
This is a possible consequence of having this attachment style, type of relationship you may have
Individuals can end up in abusive relationships
Why is it important to understand attachment styles?
Important to understand and improve your relationships
A characteristic of secure attachment individuals that allows them to navigate conflicts better
Higher emotional intelligence- allows them to communicate their feelings effectively and problem solve
Individuals with anxious attachment style need a lot of this
reassurance/affirmation
closeness
What individuals with Avoidant Attachment struggle with
1. Have surface level relationships, no depth
2. May exhibit isolative or negative patterns of behaviors
3. Feelings of unworthiness
What Fearful-Avoidant Attachment can be linked to
Can be linked to negative outcomes, such as:
-fewer relationships/connections, isolation
- a higher risk of social anxiety and depression as well as less fulfilling relationships
The earliest experience we have with attachment styles
Our relationship with our parents or caregiver creates an "attachment style"—a blueprint for how we handle close relationships later
Ways to build secure attachments
1. LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES
2. Working on our self-esteem
3. Learning to be assertive
4. Learning to resolve conflict
5. Learning to express emotional needs
6. Not manipulating other's interests
How to combat this style of attachment
1. Learning to be aware of this attachment style and how it influences our relationships
2. Taking steps to modify harmful behaviors - improve communication, self-soothing, respecting others' boundaries
How to combat this attachment style
1. Learning to understand our emotions, express and control them
2.Developing emotional awareness and closeness
3. Learning to manage stress
4. Being present
How to combat this style of attachment
1. Working on communication with others
2. Learning to be more open and talking about feelings and fears
3. Defining and vocalizing boundaries with others
4. Self-soothing
Ways to develop secure attachment with your child
Provide a safe environment that meets their basic needs
Provide comfort, support, emotional closeness
Teach them how to self-soothe, show that they can trust you to be there for them
Value them, encourage them to be themselves