Quotes That Probably Weren't Said
"I couldn't believe that they were so jealous of me, that they put me in slavery! But you wouldn't believe the look on their faces when they figured out I became ruler of Egypt."
Who is Joseph?
How Does Moses Make His Coffee?
He-Brews It!
This man was trying to peacefully sleep until his son kept waking up him. Turns out, he didn't even call him to do anything, but someone else did.
Who is Eli?
This couple didn't want to seem as a couple so they played as siblings instead.
What city mentioned in the book of Revelations is also the name of an American city today?
Philadelphia (Revelation 3:7-13)
"Being diseased with leprosy was not on my bingo card. How am I gonna manage being sick, and my army at the same time? Luckily, one of my servants told me about some guy named Elisha. Ha, what's HE gonna do?"
Who is Naaman?
To get to the other side.
The first person to fall asleep during a sermon. Funny how it almost cost him his life.
Who is Eutychus?
Who Is Jacob?
What woman continued in prayer day and night in the temple?
"I can't believe that we have to split the bill over 12 people. And I only had a cup of wine. So much for the 'Last Supper'. At least I'm going to get my money back when I talk to the Pharisees."
Who is Judas?
Who was considered the best comedian in the bible?
Samson, because he brought the house down!
They (3 people) fell asleep 3 TIMES while trying to look out for a special someone before his fate came to him.
Who is Peter, James, and John?
They loved each other, (so or happen that one loved their body) so much.. that it took the life of someone to bring them together.
Who is David and Bathsheba?
FINISH THE VERSE:
"Now unto him that is able to keep you from ____, and to present you ______ before the presence of his _____ with exceeding ______."
- falling
- faultess
- glory
- joy
(Jude 1:24)
"I'm a cupbearer, so I don't know why I was called do this. I ain't no carpenter, I ain't no Bob The Builder, but if God want these walls built, I'm going to build it UP! Even if I have to do it myself! Well... maybe I'm going to need some help.
Who is Nehemiah?
How Long Did Cain Hate His Brother?
As long as he was Abel!
This young man, who was taken from slavery, needed to interpret a dream about impending doom to a king to save his life. Although he gave no further instructions about the dream, they were promoted.
Who is Daniel? (Yall said Joseph, didn't yall.)
You love her, she loves EVERYONE. And I mean, everyone. In fact, it's her job to love everyone. But throughout all this, you continue to love her as a metaphor for God's love.
Who is Hosea?
What king of Israel followed heathen practices by burning his kids in the fire?
Who is Ahaz (2 Chron 28:3)
"Somehow the bible didn't give me enough recognition when I cried. Just only two words."
Who is Jesus?
What kind of a man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
Ruthless!
Imagine coming across a wonderful place to stay for the night. You had a good drink, and soon fall asleep in your warm comfy tent. Then all of a sudden, you get a tent peg driven through the side of your head. Who suffered this fate?
Who is Sisera? (Jael was the one who killed Sisera.)
Imagine you and your homegirl trying to get rich together, but the only way you could do it was by scamming people. But when confronted, you immediately die. That's it. No warning, just dead.
Who is Ananias and Sapphira?
The last sentence in the bible.
"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all." Revelations 22:21