Determining size of the problem
Which type of problem can be solved easily, affects only 1-2 people, and does not impact how you feel or your feelings stay in the green zone?
Small problem
Your classmate is not doing their work.
SmallProblem. It is not affecting you. You're not scared or worried, you're not in danger and there is no destruction. Let the teacher handle on their own time in their own way.
Your mom won't buy you your favorite snack.
Small problem
This skill will help you learn to handle and ask for help when needed.
Talking to a trusted adult
Why is it important to know the difference between big and small problems?
It makes it easier to know what we should do.
Which type of problem takes more time to solve, involves others, yellow or blue zone feelings are involved (disappointment, frustration, confusion), and you need help to work through it.
Medium sized problem
You forget to do your homework.
Small, you can explain to your teacher and ask for more time.
You have not done your work in school and your parents took away your favorite toys.
Small because our actions have consequences. It may feel like a BIG problem.
This skill will help you understand how your actions, words and decisions can impact others.
Empathy or thinking about how others feel.
How can understanding the size of a problem help us in decision-making and problem-solving?
It helps to know if we should ignore, do something ourselves or get help with our problems.
What type of problem gives you very strong/uncomfortable feelings (anger, grief, sadness), involves safety or danger and requires a lot of help and support.
Big problem
You didn't have time to eat breakfast.
Small, grab breakfast in the cafeteria.
You are fighting with your borther/sister all the time.
Medium, this could cause problems in your family and you could have consequences if you do not learn to work things out.
These skill will help you calm down when you are very upset about a problem.
Coping strategies.
What strategies can we use to determine if a problem is big or small?
Ask yourself if you can solve it on your own, is it a safety issue, what zone you are in and how long you will have big feelings over the problem.
If you are unsure of the size of your problem what can you do?
Talk with friends, family, trusted adult.
Someone tells you that they are being bullied.
Medium problem, you should tell an adult.
You find out a close friend is moving far away.
Medium, you will have lots of feelings and need to talk to a trusted adult many times about this.
We use these to recognize how we are feeling and decide if we need to use a coping strategy.
Zones of regulation
When is it appropriate to ask for help when facing a problem? How can we decide who to ask for help?
When we can't do it alone. Who is someone is a trusted adult in our life.
If you are constantly saying small problems are big problems what will happen?
People will not believe you and you will not learn how do solve them on your own.
There if a fire in your classroom.
Big problem-- this is an emergency that can affect a lot of people. Tell an adult immediately and follow all adult directions.
You fall down and think that you have broken your arm.
Big problem, get an adult to help right away.
This skill will help you bounce back from setbacks and handle changes.
Resilience
Can you tell us about a time you had a problem and how you solved it in a good way?
Answers vary