CHEMUNG COUNTY D.O.G.E.
THUMBS UP
LOOK ING LIKE
A TOTAL ECLIPSE
SECRET SQUIRREL
100
MUCH MONEY WAS SAVED AFTER THIS SPICY CHICKEN WING DIP WAS SERVED WITH THIS OTHER "CHICKEN OF THE SEA" INGREDIENT (IT WAS NEVER MADE AGAIN)
WHAT IS MELISSA BROWN'S TUNA FISH CHICKEN WING DIP?
100
THUMBS UP TO THE NEW CLOTHING ALLOWANCE THAT IS INCLUSIVE TO ALL OF THE FEMALE HIRES AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE - JUST IN TIME FOR INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!
WHAT IS THE NEW TRAFFIC VESTS THAT ARE MADE IN LACE PATTERN AND IN G-STRING?
100
THIS DEPUTY WANTED TO KNOW HOW TO "TRANSITION" FROM AFTERNOON SHIFT TO OVERNIGHT SHIFT. TRYING TO LOOK LIKE SGT SLATER WAS NOT NECESSARY
WHO IS DEPUTY HOLLOWAY?
100
EYE EYE CAPTAIN - HE TRIED ON THIS HOMEMADE VERSION - SINCE THERE WAS A SHORTAGE COUNTY WIDE - PLUS HE WAS HAPPY THAT HE COULD SEE THAT HE HAD TWO VERY NORMAL THUMBS - BUT DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE SUN UNLESS YOU HAVE THE SAFE VERSION OF THIS EYEWEAR
WHAT ARE CAPTAIN ARGETSINGER'S ECLIPSE GLASSES?
100
THANK GOODNESS THAT THE CHEMUNG COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE VIRAL SQUIRREL SCANDAL. BUT THIS LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY HAD TWO SECRET WEAPONS TO CATCH THIS HIGHLY TRAINED BUT DANGEROUS VERMON
WHO IS THE NYS DEC?
200
SMART MOVE BY THE COUNTY FOR PURCHASING CLOSEOUT SUPERMAN COSTUMES AT PARTY CITY SO THAT EVERY PERSONELL COMPLAINT COULD BE DIRECTED AT THIS DEPUTY. HERE'S A HINT... (SPEAK IN A KIND OF REAL BOSTON ACCENT)
WHO IS CONOR EVERETT?
200
THUMBS UP TO THE DEPUTY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO DOCUMENT THE SCENE WITH STICK FIGURES AND A SIMPLE VAUGE DRAWING BUT INSTEAD SUBMITTED THIS INFAMOUS SKETCH
WHO IS DEPUTY DART?
200
THIS CANDY BAR WAS MADE FAMOUS BY THIS FAMOUS BASEBALL PLAYER WHO WAS TRADED FROM THE BOSTON RED SOX TO THE NEY YORK YANKEES (THE SHERIFF'S FAVORITE) ALSO MADE FAMOUS BY A 1980'S MOVIE - THE GOONIES - HEY YOOOUUU GUYS
WHAT IS A BABY RUTH CANDY BAR?
200
THIS A-LINE DEPUTY WAS SPOTTED DURING THE ECLIPSE BUT ONLY FOR A SHORT WHILE SINCE HE IS A ZYN-VAMPIRE - PLUS HE LOVES GOING AFTER THE NEW BLOOD AT THE ACADEMY
WHO IS DEPUTY COSMORE?
200
THE CHEMUNG COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT DISCLOSED THAT THE SQUIRREL DID NOT HAVE RABIES, AND WAS TESTED AT NOON, SO AT LEAST THERE WAS LUNCH - WITH THIS RECIPE (DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT ON THE MENU AT LIBS)
WHAT IS DEEP FRIED WITH PEANUT SAUCE?
300
CHEMUNG COUNTY DOGE SAVED A LOT OF MONEY BY ISSUING THESE CLOTHING ITEMS TRIMMED BY THE SHERIFF HIMSELF
WHAT ARE DEEP, DEEP V-NECK TEE SHIRTS?
300
THUMBS UP TO THIS INVESTIGATOR THAT SAID 50,000 VOLTS DOESN'T REALLY HURT DURING TASER TRAINING. OH WAIT - THAT'S NOT A THUMB
WHO IS INVESTIGATOR THEETGE?
300
THIS FIREARMS INSTRUCTOR CAN BE HEARD OVER ALL OF THE GUNFIRE YELLING OUT - "IT'S AH ME, MARIO" - BUT ONLY WHEN HE'S ALLOWED TO WEAR THAT CERTAIN MOUSTACHE
WHO IS LT AYERS?
300
CHEMUNG COUNTY RESIDENTS WERE HOPING FOR A ONCE IN A LIFETIME VIEW OF THE SOLAR ECLIPSE, INCLUDING SHERIFF SCHROM. UNFORTUNATELY THE WEATHER WAS THIS FORECAST IN CHEMUNG COUNTY CHANGING HIS EXCITEMENT TO SADNESS
WHAT WAS RAIN WITH A CHANCE OF "POUTY" SKIES
300
THIS NEW DEPUTY HAD A LONG DAY AT THE ACADEMY, BUT WAS VERY READY FOR HIS ASIAN RECIPE SPICY SQUIRREL MEAL. THE SPICY CAME FROM THE PEPPER SPRAY IN HIS EYES, NOSE, AND THROAT
WHO IS DEPUTY ADAMS?
400
THE NEW DOGE INITIATIVE SAID TO GO FIND THE HIDDEN GOLD IN SOUTHPORT - HE DID HIS BEST BUT THE ONLY "VALUE" AT THE END OF THIS RAINBOW WAS THIS DEPUTY
WHO IS DEPUTY ARNOLD
400
THUMBS UP TO THIS "SUPPORT STAFF" PERSON FOR THINKING THAT THE RICI BOOKING SYSTEM WAS A NEW DATING APP FOR "BOOKING DATES". SINCE RICI IS FOR CRIMINALS, THIS DATING PROFILE SHOULD WORK JUST FINE (HMM... THAT'S NOT A THUMB EITHER)
WHO IS SIMONA BERMINGHAM?
400
HE WAS BLUE WHEN HE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT - BUT CCSO MEMBERS WEREN'T! BUT HE DID GET TO DO A SHORT STINT WITH THE BLUE MAN GROUP...
WHO IS UNDERSHERIFF HOUPER?
400
THIS LIEUTENANT SEEMS LIKE HE DOES HIS HAIR IN COMPLETE DARKNESS AS ITS NEVER THE SAME - SHAVED - "SLICK"ED BACK - OR JUST SPECIAL - PERFECT FOR A-LINE AND AN ECLIPSE
WHO IS LT PADGETT?
400
THESE DEPUTIES TRIED MAKING A NAME FOR THEMSELVES AFTER CAPTURING A PIG IN A SLOW SPEED PURSUIT AND PUTTING HIM BEHIND BARS. THEY WERE LATER HOPING FOR A "PIG ROAST" AFTER THEY HEARD ABOUT THAT FREE SQUIRREL LUNCH
WHO IS DEPUTY CALEB CARDINALE, DEPUTY HOLLOWAY, DEPUTY JAKE CARDINALE AND DEPUTY HOWE
500
CHEMUNG COUNTY DOGE WANTED TO MAKE MONEY BY WRITING MORE TICKETS. THEY DID NOT MEAN TO HASSLE SANTA'S REINDEER TO SEE HOW FAST SANTA WAS TRAVELLING THROUGH THE COUNTY. THIS DEPUTY TOOK IT A LITTLE TOO FAR BY ARRESTING ELVES AND BRAGGING ABOUT IT TO CHILDREN IN CHEMUNG COUNTY
WHO IS SGT BUCHHOLTZ?
500
DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND CHECK OUT THE THUMBS ON THAT GUY! ONCE YOU SEE IT - YOU WILL NEVER UNSEE IT. HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE CALLS MY PHONE
WHO IS LT. AYERS?
500
HE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOST! ASK HIM AND HE WILL TELL YOU THAT HE'S NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING - EXCEPT THIS PHOTO
500
AN ECLIPSE HAS BEEN KNOWN TO TRICK EARLY MAN AND SMALL CHILDREN CAUSING PANIC AND ALARM - POSSIBLY WHY THIS DEPUTY RAN UP AND DOWN THE HALLWAYS DRESSED AS A UNICORN EXCLAIMING "WHERE DA SUN GO? - WHERE DA SUN GO?"
WHO IS DEPUTY MASIA?
500
NO SECRET SERVICE WAS NEEDED AFTER ALL SINCE THIS 45TH AND 47TH PRESIDENT (AND SQUIRREL LOVER) DID NOT HAVE TO VISIT CHEMUNG COUNTY TO PROTECT THE SQUIRRELS
WHO IS PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP?