MD Mysteries
This MD could be one of America’s top bankers… if he would only close as many deals as fishing trips he takes.
Who is John C. Siegler?
“We have at least one new customer.”
What is a "Feeding Frenzy"?
You’d need an electron microscope to see a slice of DNA, a bacteria cell, or this piece of BMO compensation.
What are 2025 MM bonuses?
He is like the energizer bunny on hallucinogenic steroids.
Who is John Dale?
When confronted with a challenging wine deal, this Associate has learned to Let it Be.
Who is Robert Ringo Starr?
#1 in complaints, blue ribbon for whining, and the first one out the door in 2025.
Who is Connor Mitchell?
This MD’s photo is commonly found on the back of milk cartons.
Who is Kyle Crowe?
“We missed plan by 75%.”
What is a "Slight Revenue Shortfall"?
Regional Investment Banking, Corporate Advisory, Business Transition Advisory Services, Capital Markets, and a Peloton bike.
What are five institutions that expend amazing amounts of energy but never go anywhere?
His modus operandi is "Wolfman hair on fire... always."
Who is Thomas DeMinico?
After a prolonged internship, this star analyst has gotten up to speed Like a Rolling Stone.
Who is Bob Dylan Teves?
Everyday little league coach, full-time regional channel networker, first in soporific presentations, and left without a single closing.
Who is Jay Schembs?
Donald Trump, Andrew Jackson, and this MD represent three leaders with red hair and a thirst for power.
Who is Chris Dopp?
“We posted a huge loss last quarter.”
What is a "Cyclical Industry"?
The Unabomber, Mount St. Helens, and this BMO leadership team member all have a common theme of blowing things up.
Who is Tony Sciarrino?
He transcribed seven pages describing his contributions to OneClient.
What is the AI program Dev Navarre uses to write his prolix narratives?
He developed the charitable and tax advantageous Culture Club in the Seattle office.
Who is Boy George Gibbs?
He gave up a career in investment banking for home-schooled family office investing.
Who is Michael Blumlein?
This MD once gave a fireside chat, and the fire went out...
Who is Cameron Hewes?
“Our current products have no market.”
What is an "Acquisition Strategy"?
Big Brother is Watching You.
What is BMO’s IT Department?
Her key points of emphasis on every pitch include, “Checks all the boxes; etcetera, etcetera; and I appreciate you!”
Who is Jennifer Johnson?
While reception to the BotW acquisition has been Hot N Cold overall, this MD has certainly been a Dark Horse for the group.
Who is Katy Perry DeLuca?
Saved as an intern, left as a legend, complete with The Joker’s frightening smile.
Who is Jonathan Nudler?
Not even Canadian import tariffs could keep this MD from crossing the border.
Who is Michel Bayard?
“We have yet to find a customer who likes our product.”
What is a "Long Selling Cycle"?
This Friday freelancer thinks he’s a Mark Twain or Ernest Hemingway but is really a hack scribbler.
Who is Alan Tannenbaum?
His role models include Eeyore, Squidward, and Oscar the Grouch.
Who is Dave Stead?
This seasoned Director is always ready to Shake It Off after a pitch gone wrong.
Who is Taylor Swift Marsh?
Was king of the Capital Grille roundtable, became court jester of BMO MM.
Who is Tom Newell?