Coffee
When this stimulant is removed from coffee, it's often resold to pharmaceutical companies & soft drink manufacturers
Caffeine
Perfect for your small fry, you can buy a plush one of these; McDonald's uses white meat for their edible ones
Nugget
You fell in love with your captor, wandered his castle & talked to the dinnerware; touch of Stockholm Syndrome?
Belle
Mighteth I interest thee in a noggin of mead? They call me the "Bard of Avon" but I can be your Midsummer Night's Dream. #drama
William Shakespeare
“Just a small-town girl, livin’ in a lonely world…”
“…She took the midnight train goin’ anywhere.”
In 2023, noted devotee Ben Affleck appeared in this Massachusetts based coffee chain's first ever Super Bowl ad
Dunkin' Donuts
How about a sticker for your toilet that makes it look like this rodent, maybe a red or eastern gray one, is popping out to say hi
Squirrel
Mommy issues & a lifetime of isolation will not be solved by a drastic haircut
Rapunzel
If you like Pina Coladas and shedding the shackles of capitalism, peep my book "Das Kapital" and let's escape to a communist utopia
Karl Marx
“I got a feeling…”
“…that tonight’s gonna be a good night.”
Adding this flavor in powder or syrup form, turns a latte into a mocha
Chocolate
A blanket with the words "hey baby girl" over the huge beautiful nose of this green ogre? Enchanting!
Shrek
We really need to talk about your thingamabob hoarding tendencies
Ariel
Philly girl 4 eva! You think you're better than me? I sewed the first American flag (okay, maybe I didn't) #FlyEaglesFly
Betsy Ross
“Say my name, say my name…”
“…if no one is around you, say baby I love you.”
During WWII, Many US soldiers felt Italian coffee was too strong & created this drink-- it's basically watered-down espresso
Americano
Why go to Houston when you can buy these teeth fronts over on Temu? One place sells them as "hip hop braces"
Grillz
Are you fulfilling your own culinary dreams or in Thrall to your father's? Maybe the new ride about you will ease your burden
Tiana
German, athiest, insane mustache, the whole package; and I wrote the "Birth of Tragedy." Swiping left will only make me sexier
Nietzche
“Hello from the other side…”
“…I must’ve called a thousand times.”
The honor code of this Provo, Utah University instructs students to abstain from drinking coffee
Brigham Young
Get a 2025 calendar of the "World's Greatest" types of this hairstyle that's business in the front & party in the back
Mullet
Diagnosis: Split personality;
Evidence: assuming a false identity (& sword theft) to join the military
Mulan
Nurse, night owl, dubbed "the lady with the lamp" because the date with me is lit: no hypochondriacs, I have Crimean fever
Florence Nightingale
“You can dance, you can jive…”
“…having the time of your life.”