Acronym-mania
It's the R in OARS/EARS
Reflective listening/Reflections
"Tell me more about that." "What does that look like?"
Ask for Elaboration
"Do you even have kids?"
"You want to know whether I truly understand what you're going through."
"Have you ever been sober before?"
"Tell me about the last time you were sober?"
An example of a stem
"It sounds like..." "I hear you saying..."
It's the A in OARS/EARS
Affrimations
"How were things better/different when..."
Look Back
"It doesn't matter what I do. You're never going to give me my kids back."
"It feels like nothing you do will ever be enough for people."
"Do you plan to reschedule the therapy appointment you missed last week?"
"When do you plan to reschedule your therapy appointment?
An example of what your final question at the end of a summary might be.
"Where does that leave you?"
"What might your next steps be?"
It's the S in OARS/EARS
Summarizing
"What are some of the good things about [status quo]? What are the not so good things? Where does that leave you?"
Explore Decisional Balance
"This judge has always been out to get my family!"
"You have some history with this judge that makes you worried about whether you'll have a fair shot."
"Are you willing to try medications to treat your depression?"
"What thoughts and questions do you have about whether medication could be helpful for you?"
The difference between "sustain talk" and "resistance."
Sustain talk reflects the reasons a client favors the status quo or opposes change. Resistance is a reactive opposition to the provider-client relationship or even the mere idea of exploring the potential change.
It's the O in OARS
Open-ended questions
"On a scale from zero to ten, how important is this change to you? What got you up to that number? What might happen that could move you up a number or two?"
Change Ruler
"Like you've never made a mistake while drunk!"
"You think people are being too hard on you."
"Do you believe your boyfriend is really serious about staying sober?"
"What has your boyfriend done that's shown you he's committed to sobriety?"
What we are honoring when acknowledging that the client has sole control over their decisions."
Autonomy
It's the E in EARS
Elaborating
"What are the worst things that might happen if you don't make this change?" "What are the best things that might happen if you do make this change?"
Query Extemes
"You believe everything my sister says! Why do I even bother?"
"You want to make sure I have reliable information to make good decisions for your family."
"Did you think it was acceptable to slap your daughter in the face because she talked back?"
"What happened to you as a child if you disrespected your parents?"
The automatic reaction a client has when we focus on one perspective/option and leave the other option out.
Ex. SW: "We've discussed how going to treatment is the only way to get your kids back, and it will also benefit you in so many other ways."
Client: "But I've told you! I'll lose my job, my apartment, everything if I leave for treatment!"
The Righting Reflex