Types of Boundaries
Physical Boundaries
What is personal space, physical touch, material items, etc.
The limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships.
- eye contact
- steady tone of voice
- not too quiet or not too loud
- not crossing arms
are examples of this...
What is confident body language?
True or False:
You always have the right to say “no?”
What is: True
Your friend calls you at 11pm to talk about issues he/she is having with their partner. You wake up at 6am for work. You say this to set up a boundary.
What is: "I’m sorry you are having problems with your partner; however, I have to be up early for work. Can we talk later?"
Protect the feelings or emotions of another person or your own emotions.
What is Emotional Boundaries
Spending time with family and/or friends, happiness, overall health, freedom, safety, and leisure time are all examples of this.
What are: Values
Listen and consider the needs of the other person. “Give and take” is a part of any healthy relationship
What is: Compromise
True or False:
Saying “I’m not comfortable with this” is saying “no”
True
You invited a friend over for the evening, but now it’s getting late. You would like to get ready for bed, but your friend seems unaware of how late it is.
Set the boundary here.
It’s getting pretty late and I want to get ready for bed. Unfortunately, it’s time for you to go but I look forward to hanging out again.
How sexual boundaries can be violated
What is: unwanted sexual touch, pressure to engage in sexual acts, leering, or sexual comments.
How to be Assertive
-Setting a boundary.
-Clearly stating your needs and wants
-Confident body language
-Appropriate speaking volume
-Respect yourself
An imaginary wall or barrier that keeps us feeling safe, comfortable, and protected.
What is: boundary
Scenario:
Sally had a few friends over to the house. One of them brought alcohol. She was feeling uncomfortable. When they asked if it was okay to drink, she said, “Sure, that’s fine.”
True or False- Is this a good example of saying “no?” If false, explain why.
False: she should have responded with “I’m not comfortable with this” or something similar.
A good friend asks you out on a date. You are not interested in being more than friends. You would like to let them down clearly, but gently.
Set a boundary here.
I am not interested in being more than friends and I would gladly continue to be friends.
List some common Social/Cultural Boundaries
What is Shaking hands; kissing on cheek, saying excuse me; not swearing; not making loud bodily sounds; not interrupting someone when speaking
If you always give in to others, are too open, put others needs before your own needs all the time. This means you _____.
Lack / not having self-respect
Touching them without consent, touching things that don’t belong to the other person, going into someone's room without asking, etc.
What is: How physical boundaries are violated
Give an example of how to say “no,” without using ones already provided.
“I don’t want to do that.”
“I’ve decided not to.”
“Not at this time.”
(Other examples are welcome)
A salesperson comes to your door during dinner. You try to politely show disinterest, but they keep giving their sales pitch. You want to get back to dinner. How would you set a boundary here?
Can I have your card so I can contact you later. I am currently eating dinner.
Time Boundaries can be violated by this
What is: one person demanding too much of another person’s time.
Listen to your emotions in an effort to not feel being taken advantage of. This is a tip for __________.
What is: a healthy boundary
Ways boundaries are broken
- Physical
- Emotional
- Sexual
- (Specific examples are allowed)
What is one thing you can’t say “no” to? (*Think outside of the box. Disclaimer this one is hard.)
The law
You notice your roommate has been eating your food in the fridge. You never discussed plans to share food, and don’t want them eating what you bought. How would you set a boundary here?
I’d like to keep our food separate. If there’s something of mine that you want, please ask me.