How To
This body language communicates confidence when setting boundaries.
What is facing the person, speaking at an appropriate volume and tone, making eye contact and standing tall?
Someone comes over to hang out right before you were about to leave to run errands, and you invite them inside.
What is no, you dont have another chance to run these errands another time but felt worried about offending the other person putting you in a difficult position.
"Can I borrow your car?"
What is, "I am not comfortable allowing others to borrow my car."
Setting boundaries will likely decrease these unpleasant emotions.
What is anxiety, anger, and stress?
This behaviors communicates respect when setting boundaries.
What is avoiding yelling, put downs, name calling, or ignoring?
Someone asks you for something while you are in mid-task. You say that you will complete the request after you have completed your task.
"Would you like to go on a date?"
"Thank you for the invitation, I am not interested."
Setting boundaries does this to relationships.
What is, Improves them by being around people who respects your boundaries and what you are and are not comfortable with.
This action allows you to feel prepared when setting boundaries.
What is planning ahead by thinking about what you want to say and how you want to say it?
A stranger asks you for a hug. You agree even though you feel uncomfortable.
You're walking to the store when someone stops and asks you if you need a ride.
What is, "I'm not comfortable with that."
Setting boundaries allows you to feel this way during encounters and interactions.
What is secure in your values, experience self-respect, and comfortable within the interactions?
This is present in all healthy relationships during conflict.
What is compromise by listening to and considering the needs of the other person?
Someone asks you to borrow your car. You say that you understand their need to borrow your car, but don't feel comfortable with lending it to them.
what is yes, you communicated your lack of comfort with the situation in a respectful way.
A family member attempts to give you a hug and you do not like being hugged.
This could be considered a reasonable consequence when setting a boundary with someone.
This is a combination of values, expectations, principles, or limits that you establish to keep yourself feeling safe physically, emotionally, and mentally
What are boundaries?
Someone is talking poorly about someone you know. You tell the person that you are close with this person and would appreciate that they not talk poorly about them while you are around.
What is yes, you asserted your boundary in a respectful way.
A friend is yelling at you during a disagreement.
What is, "Your yelling at me is not acceptable and if it continues I will be exiting this conversation."
Setting boundaries may result in this regarding self-esteem.
Improved self-esteem, better understanding of yourself, and people form a better understanding of those in your life.