Personal Boundaries
What is an example of a boundary that you have for yourself?
1. I will not be hit
2. I will not be cursed at
3. I will be left alone when I don't want to be bothered
Is lying to your friends a boundary violation?
Yes! Lying to your friends does not feel very good and it can hurt the friendship
True or False:
Boundaries do not matter in a family because you are family and live with eachother.
FALSE
Boundaries are very important to keep in a family
Fill in the blank:
"An important boundary for me to keep at school is to mind my own______"
Business
True or False
Little lies are ok to tell my family because they will get over it.
FALSE
It is never ok to lie to your family
How can you tell someone that they are violating one of your boundaries?
1. Please do not (touch/hit/curse at) me
2. I do not like when you do that behavior and you need to stop.
If you are seeing two of your friends arguing, is it ok to get in the middle of the argument and involve yourself?
No. It is not a good idea to involve yourself in arguments that do not include you.
Why are boundaries important to have in your family?
Boundaries keep family members safe
Boundaries keep family members feel cared for
Boundaries show respect in a family
True or False
When we do something wrong, lying is only ok if it is a tiny lie.
FALSE
Lying is a boundary violation. It is never ok to lie because it creates distrust which hurts relationships.
Why is lying a boundary violation?
It causes distrust and when you can't be trusted, then people don't feel safe with you.
What can you do if a person keeps violating your personal boundaries after you have already asked them to stop?
1. Remove yourself from their presance
2. Tell a trusted adult
3 Tell mom or dad
4. Tell your teacher
Is hi-fiving your best friend after winning a game a boundary violation?
No. It is perfectly acceptable to hi-give your friends.
Pretend your baby brother is crying because he is really thirsty and wants some juice. You notice that mom is getting baby brother some milk or water. You decided to go give baby brother juice.
Did you violate a boundary by giving baby brother juice when mom was in the process of giving him milk or water? Why?
Yes, you have violated a boundary in the family. This is a boundary violation because mom and dad are responsible for taking care of kids. Moms and Dads know when it is ok for baby brother to have juice and when it is more healthy for baby to drink milk or water.
Why is it important for you to mind your own business at school and not get involved in other people's problems?
Because boundaries are important and minding out own business helps to prevent us from violating boundaries.
Is lying ok only if you do it so you don't get in trouble?
No, lying is never ok. You will likely be in more trouble for the lie than the mistake you made that caused you to lie.
If someone keeps violating your personal boundaries, it is acceptable for you to yell, hit or curse at them? Why is your answer correct?
No. It is not ok to yell, hit or curse. We can show other people how we want to be treated by treating other people how you want them to treat you.
Name one consequence that can happen if you violate your friend's personal boundary?
1. They stop being your friend.
2. Your friend will feel uncomfortable
If a family member asks you to stop doing something because it makes them feel uncomfortable, is it no big deal if you keep doing it?
No, it is definitely a big deal. Every family member deserves to feel safe. If you are doing something that makes your family member feel sad, mad, scared or bothered then they aren't feeling very safe.
True or False
Everyone at school has the exact same boundaries
FALSE
Everyone is different. There may be some behaviors that other people do not like that you may not mind. There may be some behaviors that really bother you, but your classmates are ok with it.
Is lying a boundary violation even if you don't get caught?
Yes, even if you are not caught, lying is a boundary violation. You will always get caught eventually.