Types of Boundaries
Who you share your feelings with
Emotional
Yelling at someone to hurt their feelings
Aggressive
Step 1
State what you need
They say your boundary is ridiculous and give reasons why
Rationalizing
Worries about being safe while following through on a boundary
Anxiety
Material
Not saying you want help with cleaning but being frustrated when they don't help
Passive-aggressive
Step 2
Communicate the boundary
They ask questions to try to make your boundary seem invalid
Questioning
Feeling bad because you care and don't want to hurt someone
Sadness
Personal space
Physical
Letting people walk all over you
Passive
Step 3
Communicate the consequence
They ignore your boundary and continue doing what they want to
Pushback
Feeling like setting the boundary means you don't love someone
Betrayal
Intellectual
Being clear and concise
Assertive
Step 4
Follow through on the consequence
They try to sneak or manipulate you into not noticing them ignoring your boundary
Testing Limits
Feeling bad, like you didn't do the right thing
Remorse
How you structure your day
Time
Trying to punish someone by using the silent treatment
Manipulative
Step 5
Deal with your discomfort
They make excuses for why their behaviour is okay
Defensiveness
Feeling like you're a bad person for setting a boundary
Guilt