Personal Boundaties
A person can have both porous and rigid boundaries.
True!
"Most people have a mix of boundaries. For example, a person may have more rigid boundaries for co-workers, while having porous ones with a significant other.
Name an example of a Physical Boundary
Touch, hugging, kissing, shaking hands, can be cultural. Personal space "bubble"
Pretend your baby brother is crying because he is really thirsty and wants some juice. You notice that mom is getting baby brother some milk or water. You decided to go give baby brother juice.
Did you violate a boundary by giving baby brother juice when mom was in the process of giving him milk or water? Why?
Yes, you have violated a boundary in the family. This is a boundary violation because mom and dad are responsible for taking care of kids. Moms and Dads know when it is ok for baby brother to have juice and when it is more healthy for baby to drink milk or water.
Name some examples of non-verbal communication.
Nodding, eye contact, staying awake, not being distracted.
Name an example of how a boundary could be different in another culture.
inappropriate to express emotions.
others expression of emotions are encouraged.
Name an example of emotional boundaries.
personal feelings
Limitations of when and what to share. "time and place"
being validated
Is lying to your friends a boundary violation?
Yes! Lying to your friends does not feel very good and it can hurt the friendship,
Some people, it may depend, such as protecting one one self, or not being ready to tell the truth.
Name some examples of verbal communication.
Say yes, "hmm"
asking follow up questions
reflecting
What is a characteristic of a health boundary?
doe not compromise values
Shares personal information in appropriate ways
accepting when others say "no" to them
Name an example of Material Boundaries.
who you may lend a car to - family vs new person
respecting of property. not taking without asking or destroying
Name one consequence that can happen if you violate your friend's personal boundary?
1. They stop being your friend.
2. Your friend will feel uncomfortable
unfolded arms,
good posture
eye contact/awake
What is a characteristic of a rigid boundary?
Avoids intimacy
unlikely to ask for help
very protective of personal information
has few close personal relationships
Name an example of a spiritual boundary.
respecting others beliefs
setting aside time for engaging in spirituality
knowing your own limits and values
If a family member asks you to stop doing something because it makes them feel uncomfortable, is it no big deal if you keep doing it?
No, it is definitely a big deal. Every family member deserves to feel safe. If you are doing something that makes your family member feel sad, mad, scared or bothered then they aren't feeling very safe.
Name some examples of ways people communicate.
in person
text/phone calls
social media
What is a characteristic of a Porous Boundary?
Overshares
difficulty saying no to others
accepting abuse or disrespect
Dependent of others opinions
Name an example of a time boundary.
setting aside time for one self care
respecting other peoples time/value
knowing when you may not have the capacity to do something
Is lying ok only if you do it so you don't get in trouble?
No, lying is never ok. You will likely be in more trouble for the lie than the mistake you made that caused you to lie.
reflecting
not being distracted
having non-verbal/and or verbal communication
asking appropriate questions