Expected & Unexpected
Unexpected
Boundaries means setting expectations on what you are or are not okay with.
True
What can happen if boundaries are crossed?
- Lose trust or friendships
- Feeling unsafe or uncomfortable
- Go to jail
Frank feels proud of me and wants to give me a high five! He puts his hand up for me to high five but waits until I choose to give him one. Is this expected or unexpected?
Everybody has the same boundaries
False! While there are rules to be followed by everyone, people may have different boundaries from one another
How can I avoid crossing somebody's boundaries?
- Ask people if they feel comfortable with something before doing it
- Respecting somebody's boundaries if they say no to something they do not want
I feel bored at the park and see a woman bending down to pick something up off of the ground. I run up from behind and pull her pants down. Is this expected or unexpected?
Unexpected. It is not okay to pull down somebody's pants.
If somebody's boundaries are different than mine, I should be frustrated that they are different from my own.
False. It is okay for people to have different boundaries! It is important to respect other people's boundaries even if they are different from my own.
If somebody doesn't like something and I do it anyway, is this considered crossing boundaries?
Yes! That person communicated their boundary by communicating they did not like something and it was done anyway.
I start to walk away from my staff, and they remind me that I need to stay close to help keep me safe. I walk back and stand so close that my shoulder touches theirs. Is this expected or unexpected?
Unexpected. I should only stand that close if I am asked to. Instead, I can stand close but also maintain personal space!
Setting boundaries is a healthy way to help keep people safe.
True! I should set boundaries that make me feel comfortable and safe with people and the environment around me.
A new staff meets me for the first time while training and kindly asks my name, then says "nice to meet you!" is this crossing boundaries?
No, the staff asks my name to be able to address me in an appropriate manner as they continue to work with me!
A peer wants to play a game with me but I do not feel comfortable playing it because I want to do a different activity instead. The peer says okay and asks a different peer to play their game instead. Is this expected or unexpected?
Expected. The peer respected my personal boundaries of not wanting to engage in their game and chose a different peer to play with instead.
It is important to respect people's boundaries so they feel safe and comfortable to be around me
True! If I do not respect people's boundaries, they may feel uncomfortable or unsafe around me.
I want to talk to a staff, but they are busy and looking a different direction. Instead of trying to talk to them anyway, I find a different staff to talk to until they are available. Is this crossing boundaries or respecting boundaries?
Respecting boundaries! I am waiting until the staff I want to talk to is available to talk to me and not interrupting what they were doing.