Types of Boundaries 1
You are frustrated that your friend is always late and cuts into your hang out time. You communicate that you only have so much time to hang out and would like them to be on time.
Time Boundary
You calmly communicate to your guardians that you would like your room to be a safe and private place.
Physical Boundary
Your siblings are always in your room. You would like some alone time sometimes.
EXAMPLE: Make a time limit. Let them know that you need one hour of alone time before they can come play in your room.
Is this boundary porous, rigid, or healthy:
Keeps others at a distance to avoid the possibility of rejection.
Rigid
Define what a boundary is.
A boundary is a limit or rule that we set for ourselves within relationships.
Your friend asks to borrow $50. You communicate to them that you would be happy to, but only if they pay you back within a month.
Material Boundary
Your dad always wants to discuss politics with you even though you do not agree on this subject. You tell him you would rather pick a topic to discuss that will not cause arguments.
Intellectual Boundary
Your friend frequently calls you late at night and your parents took your phone away because of it.
EXAMPLE ANSWER: Communicate to your friend that you have a phone curfew and you would like them to respect that and not contact you after that time.
... etc.
Is this boundary porous, rigid, or healthy:
Doesn't compromise values for others.
Healthy
Name 2 benefits of setting boundaries.
- say no when you want to
- safety
- comfort
- better communication with others
- and MANY MORE!!!
No means no.
Sexual Boundary
Your friend asks to borrow your Airpods. You say no because last time they borrowed them, they lost one.
Material Boundary
Your partner asks you to send them a nude photo. You are uncomfortable with this.
EXAMPLE: Say that makes you uncomfortable and you are not going to do that.
Is this boundary porous, rigid, or healthy:
Over-involved with others problems.
Porous
Name 2 things that make setting boundaries difficult.
- power dynamic
- not wanting to hurt someone's feelings / people pleasing
- fear of how someone will react
- how boundary setting was modeled to us by parents or others
Your grandma always greets you with a kiss on the cheek. You express that you prefer if she only hugs you from now on.
Physical Boundary
Emotional Boundary
You meet someone new who talks in detail about a trauma they experienced. This makes you really uncomfortable because you barely know them.
EXAMPLE: You let them know that you would be happy to support them but would like to get to know them before discussing the extent of their trauma.
Is this boundary porous, rigid, or healthy:
Dependent on the opinions of others.
Porous
Name 2 things to consider when setting boundaries.
1. the type of relationship
2. the place where the boundary is being set (work, home, school, etc.)
3. cultural awareness
You are going through a really hard time and while trying to discuss it with your friend, they keep changing the subject. You express that you really need their support right now and when they change the subject, it makes you feel like they do not care.
Emotional Boundary
You excitedly talk about a new band you have discovered and your best friend tells you that they suck. You tell them how much it hurt your feelings and that you would like them to be more supportive in the future.
Intellectual Boundary
You had a fight with your mom and she made a comment about your appearance that really hurt your feelings. When you tell her how you feel, she tells you that is "not what she meant" and that you're being dramatic.
EXAMPLE: You calmly tell your mom that even if it was not her intention to hurt your feelings, you would like her to respect how you're feeling and listen to what you have to say.
Is this boundary porous, rigid, or healthy:
Asks for help when support is needed.
Healthy
Name a boundary that you have set or would like to set.
YAY boundaries!