Types of Boundaries
Someone stands way too close to you in line
Physical boundary
Someone cuts in line. Is that a boundary issue?
Yes
“Someone says ‘I don’t care’ and shuts down instead of responding”
Avoiding and setting an unhealthy boundary
Someone keeps interrupting you and laughing about it
“Let me finish. It’s not funny.”
What happens if you don’t set boundaries?
People walk over you
Someone copies your work or ideas and claims them as their own
A friend keeps taking your stuff without asking—what boundary is being crossed?
Property/respect
Someone says ‘leave me alone’ but keeps engaging and arguing.
Sending mixed signals and not holding a firm boundary
Someone calls you a name but says “I’m just joking”
“I don’t care if you’re joking—don’t call me that.”
What happens if you ignore others’ boundaries?
Conflict / consequences
A friend keeps venting to you but doesn't care about how you feel
Emotional boundary
Someone pressures you to do something illegal
Personal/moral boundary
Someone gets mad but says nothing, then blows up later
Setting an unhealthy boundary by bottling up and exploding later
Your friend says “if you were really my friend you’d do this”
“No. I’m not doing that.”
What happens when boundaries turn into aggression?
Trouble, discipline, fights
You're trying to sleep and someone keeps bothering you
Time boundary
Staff tells you to stop talking and you keep going—whose boundary is being crossed?
Staff's boundary
Someone blames everyone else for ‘making them act that way’
Doesn't take accountability and sets a poor boundary with themselves
Someone is in your space, you’re already irritated, and they don’t move when you look at them
“Back up.”
How do boundaries help relationships?
Build trust/respect
Someone takes your hoodie or snacks without asking
Material boundary
You say no but someone keeps pushing—what’s happening?
Boundary is being violated
Someone says ‘I tried a boundary but it didn’t work’ after saying it once and giving up
Doesn't set consistent boundaries and doesn't follow through on the ones they do set
Staff gives you a direction you think is unfair, and everyone else is complaining too
“I don’t agree, but I’ll do it.”
What happens if you avoid everything instead of setting boundaries?
Problems get worse / no control