Column A
You pick whether to wear your blue shirt or green shirt to school.
MY CHOICE. I get to choose my clothing as long as it is clean, weather appropriate, and appropriate for the occasion.
You don't want your brother to hug you so you say "No thanks. I don't want a hug."
Boundary! This is about your own body. You can decide whether you want to be touched.
Dad says it's time to get in the car for school.
Parents decide when it is time to leave for school. If it is not something that you might be late for you could say "can I finish doing this before we leave?".
You decide if you want to play outside or play in the basement after homework.
My choice! That is a choice you get to make.
Mom says it is time to brush your teeth before bed.
NOT MY CHOICE. You can have feelings about it, but brushing your teeth is a job you have to do.
You want to stay at the park, but Dad says it is time to leave.
NOT MY CHOICE. You can be disappointed. The adult responsible for you gets to decide when it is time to leave.
You tell Dad which book you want to read at bedtime.
MY CHOICE. That is your decision within the choices available.
You want to play with your sister’s special toy, but she says no.
Not my choice! You can ask, but your sister gets to decide what happens with her special toy.
You do not want your brother to come into your room while you are changing.
My boundary! You can have a boundary about privacy and your body.
You do not want someone tickling you, and you tell them to stop.
MY BOUNDARY. Your body is yours. You can tell someone not to touch you that way.
You choose whether to draw a picture or play a board game during free time.
MY CHOICE. That is a genuine choice available to you.
You do not want to talk about something private, so you say, “I’m not ready to talk about that.”
MY BOUNDARY. You can have a boundary around personal information and conversation.
You do not want your friend to use your favorite stuffed animal.
MY BOUNDARY. You can set a boundary around your belongings and what you are comfortable sharing.
You choose whether to wear your hair in a ponytail or leave it down when both are okay for the activity.
MY CHOICE. That is your choice when both options are acceptable.
You do not want to give someone a hug, so you offer a wave instead.
MY BOUNDARY. You can choose how you greet someone when you are not comfortable with a hug.
Your teacher tells the class to line up.
NOT MY CHOICE. Teachers choose when it is time to line up at school.
Your family is going to Grandma's house and you want to stay home.
NOT MY CHOICE. Most time, the adult chooses the schedule. You can be upset about it, but going is not a choice you get to make.
You say, “I am not getting dressed. That is my boundary.” Mom says you still have to get dressed for school.
NOT MY CHOICE. Getting dressed for school is something a parent can require. You can choose how to do it, but not whether it has to happen.
You want to choose whether to have apples or strawberries with lunch.
MY CHOICE. That is a choice you get to make when both options are available.
You want Mom to sleep in your bed, but Mom says she is going to sleep in her own bed.
NOT MY CHOICE. You can ask Mom. Mom gets to decide where she sleeps. You can be disappointed without changing her answer.
Your sister is using her own toy and you want it. She says no.
NOT MY CHOICE. Your sister gets to decide what happens to her belongings. You can be upset, but it is not your choice.
You don't want to be photographed, so you tell someone you don't want a picture.
MY BOUNDARY. You choose whether you want someone to take your picture. **family picture sessions are different.**
Someone is standing too close to you and you say, “Please give me some space.”
MY BOUNDARY. You decide how much personal space you are comfortable with and you kindly share this with others.
You do not want to wear your bike helmet because it feels uncomfortable, but the rule is that you cannot ride without one.
NOT MY CHOICE. You can tell an adult about the discomfort and ask for help finding a better fit, but riding without the safety equipment is not an option.
You want to watch more TV, but Mom or Dad says it's time to turn it off.
NOT MY CHOICE. Parents decide how much TV their kids can watch. You can be disappointed and say so, but this is still parents' decision.