Thoughts, Feelings, & Actions
What are actions or behaviors?
Actions and behaviors are things that we do, the things we say or how we act.
Imagine a friend does not sit next to you at lunch. What is an extreme thought someone may have? What is a balanced thought?
Extreme: They hate me. Nobody likes me.
Balanced: They might need space. They could be having a bad day. They did not see me.
What is a thinking trap?
A thinking trap is a thought that is not fully true and is not helpful. These untrue and unhelpful thoughts can lead to negative feelings and behaviors that have consequences.
True or False: If we think something, we must be right.
False! Our thoughts can be distorted or extreme sometimes.
What is a trigger or trauma reminder?
A trigger or trauma reminder is something that reminds our brain of something scary or stressful that happened before.
What are thoughts?
Thoughts are things we say to ourselves in our mind, like ideas, opinions, or what we believe about something.
Imagine you have the thought: 'No one likes me'. What feeling may come next? What behavior may come next?
Feeling: Sad, Lonely, Hurt, Embarrassed
Behavior: Avoiding people, Lashing out at others
If someone thinks 'I ALWAYS mess everything up', what kind of thinking trap could this be?
Exaggerating or all-or-nothing. This is an untrue and unhelpful thought.
What does it mean to look for evidence FOR and AGAINST a thought?
It means we are checking the facts to see if our thought is really true or if there are other explanations.
True or False: A trigger can make our brain and body react strongly even if we are safe in that moment.
True! Our brain and body remembers past danger and tries to protect us.
What are feelings?
Feelings are emotions we experience, like happy, sad, angry, or nervous.
How are events, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors connected?
Event happens -> A thought comes up -> You feel an emotion -> You behave based on the emotion
If someone thinks 'This will NEVER get better', what kind of thinking trap is that?
Expecting the worst or making unhelpful predictions.
Someone thinks 'Nobody likes me'. What could be evidence against this thought?
- A friend talked to me today
- Someone laughed at my joke
- My parents cared for me today
- A teacher helped me out
If someone were to hear a loud noise and it reminds them of a past stressful or scary experience, what THOUGHT might pop into their mind?
Our brain can jump to extreme thoughts to protect us after a trigger. This sort of thinking trap can be called
Examples:
- I am not safe
- Someone is going to get hurt
- Something bad is going to happen
If two people experience the same event, can they have different thoughts, feelings, and behaviors?
Yes! Different people can think different things about the same event, which leads to different feelings and actions.
Imagine someone thinks: 'Everyone is judging me.' What feeling may this person have? What will their behavior look like?
Feeling: Embarrassed, Sad, Nervous
Behavior: Leave the situation, be defensive, stay quiet, avoid people
Why do thinking traps (extreme and unhelpful thoughts) make our emotions and feelings stronger?
They make the situation seem much worse than it really is.
If a thought is making us feel worse and is not true, what can we try to do with that thought?
We can challenge it and create a more balanced thought.
If someone has the thought 'I am not safe' after a trigger, what feelings could pop up? What behaviors?
Feelings: Fear, Anxiety/Worry, Anger
Behaviors: Fight (lashing out verbally or physically), Flight (avoiding situation or leaving), or Freeze (tensing up, deer in headlights)
Can our thoughts change how we feel and what we do?
Yes! Our thoughts affect our feelings and our actions.
Why is it important to notice what thought comes up after events?
This thought impacts how we feel and how we behave. If we can challenge the thought quickly, we can change how we feel and behave.
If something bad happens and someone thinks 'It is all my fault', what kind of thinking trap could this be?
Self-blame, very rarely is something all one person's fault.
What is a balanced thought?
A thought that looks at the whole situation and is more fair or realistic.
Example: Instead of 'Everyone hates me', we may think 'Some people may not like me, but others do'
What could be a more balanced thought if we realize we are triggered?
- This reminds me of something scary, but I am safe right now
- My brain and body are reacting to the past, not the present
- I can use a coping or relaxation skill to calm down