Artificial Unintelligence
You asked AI to make your résumé stand out. What did it add?
Proficient in Excel. Invented Excel
“Per my last email…”
“I already told you this. There is written evidence.”
You pass the person in second place in a race. What place are you in?
Second place.
How many miles are in a marathon, rounded to one decimal place?
26.2 miles
This conversation is over.
You asked AI to make your client email warmer and more personal. What did it write?
Hi Susan, just checking in on the proposal. Love you. Say it back.
“Just following up!”
“You’ve ignored me for nine days, but I still need to sound employable.”
Two fathers and two sons each eat one donut, but only three donuts are eaten. How?
They’re a grandfather, a father, and a son.
Which usually crosses the finish line to determine your official finish: your head, torso, or foot?
Your torso.
Upside Down Smile Emoji
This is fine, if ‘fine’ means one email away from quitting.
You asked AI to write an out-of-office message. What did it write?
I’m away until Monday. For urgent matters, contact Sarah. Sarah is also away, but that’s between you and Sarah.”
“Looping in your manager for visibility.”
“I would like a witness to how annoying you’re being.”
A man pushes his car into a hotel and immediately realizes he’s bankrupt. What happened?
He’s playing Monopoly.
What do you call a comedian being chased by his fans?
A running joke
Complained about someone on mute. Was not on mute
You asked AI to write a birthday message for a coworker you barely know. What did it write?
Happy birthday, Kevin! From our unforgettable summers at the lake to the birth of your twins, what a journey. Best, the finance team.
“In the interest of time…”
“You’ve been talking for seven minutes. I have groceries coming.”
What has a head and a tail but no body?
A coin
In which movie does the main character go for a run—and keep going for over three years?
Forrest Gump.
Clown emoji
Me saying ‘this should only take five minutes’ three hours ago
You asked AI to make your team photo look better. What did it change?
It removed Jinal
“After careful consideration, we’ve decided to pursue a different strategic direction.”
“The CEO listened to a podcast this weekend. Everything we built since January is gone.”
How many months have 28 days?
All 12.
What does running a “negative split” mean?
Running the second half faster than the first.
Dead Emoji
Wow, Jinal’s joke was so funny. Best joke I’ve ever heard. And I’m not just saying that because he approves my PTO. Wow, Jinal’s joke was so funny. Best joke I’ve ever heard. And I’m not just saying...