The Ambigous Bible
Kids say the darnedest things about the Bible
The New Testament
Monty Python and the Bible
Church Signs
100
A. An non kosher animal. Jesus putting a demon in a herd of swine. Name of one of Noah's sons.
Q. Who is Ham.
100
"Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption." A. This means "God is with us."
Q. What is "Immanuel."
100
A. Which Gospels contain the Lord's Prayer? ***
A. What is Mathew and Luke.
100
A. Name one of the two events where the Holy Grail was used. ***
A. The Grail was said to be the cup of the Last Supper and at the Crucifixion to have received blood flowing from Christ's side.
100
A. "Whoever stole our air conditioning units, keep them. It's gonna be ______ where you are going."
Q.What is "hot."
200
A.,The free and unmerited love of God. A reprieve. A Christian hymn published in 1779.
Q. What is grace.
200
A. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times." This is what David did after killing Goliath.
W. What is cut off his head.
200
A. These are the 2 prophets who appeared with Jesus during his Transfiguration.
Q. Who are Moses and Elijah.
200
A.. And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he ____ _______. ***
Q. What is fell asleep.
200
A. "Need a life guard? Ours _______ on ________."
Q. What is "walks on water."
300
A. Mandate, One Decalogue, One of the 613 mitzvot of Judaism, An order of authority.
Q. What is a commandment.
300
A. "A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony." Chosen by God to free the people of Israel. He is said to have had many wives [Judges 8:30]. PS. Hint: Hotel bibles
Q. who is Gideon.
300
A. This is how many books are in the New Testament. ***
Q. What are 27.
300
A. Double Jeopardy. This was the first king of Israel.***
Q. Who is Saul.
300
"Honk if you love Jesus, ______ him while driving if you want to meet him."
Q. What is "text."
400
A. One of the books of the Gospel. One of the secrets books of the apocrypha. In the book of Revelation the ______ of the beast.
Q. What is Mark.
400
A. "The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels." Which Desciiples we're know as the "Sons of Thunder."
Q. Who are James and John.
400
A. The shortest Bible verse can be found in the New Testamentt, the book of John. What is the verse?
Q. What is "Jesus wept."
400
A. This is the cause of death in a Roman crucifix.***
Q. Asphyxiation. This results from lack of exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide due to respiratory failure or disturbance, resulting in insufficient brain oxygen, which leads to unconsciousness and death
400
A. "Forbidden fruit has caused many a ________."
Q. What is "jam."
500
A. A tract of land or parcel, The portion in life assigned by fate or Providence; one's fate, fortune, or destiny, was married to a pillar of salt.
Q. What is Lot.
500
A. "The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals." What is the Hebrew word for Gentiles?
Q. What is "Goy."
500
**Double Jeopardy** m A. This person wrote the most books in the New Testament. Who was this person and how many books did he write?
Q. Who is Paul and 14.
500
A. "And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you. What 2 books of the OT outline what are clean and unclean animals to eat. ***
Q. What is Leviticus and Deuteronomy.
500
A. "The best vitamin for a Christian is _______."
Q. What is "B1."
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