Feedback
___ is focused on weakness; ___ helps to build strengths
criticism; feedback
maintains eye contract, gives full attention, repeats/rephrases, encourages further response
a good listener
fight, flight, freeze, fawn
fear responses
Some decisions are easy to make because they involve ___ ___ and have no real consequences
personal preferences
Emotional triggers are often formed through ___ ___
associative learning
Criticism says, "you're the ____" vs. feedback says, "we can ___"
problem; make this better
while kindness is generally seen as a virtue, excessive niceness can lead to self-neglect, boundary issues, and potential exploitation, ultimately harming personal well-being and relationships
paradox of being nice
builds trust, less mental strain, effective conflict resolution, self-esteem boost
How does honesty reduce stress
The tendency to see events, even random ones, as more predictable than they are (“I knew it all along”)
The Hindsight Bias
Emotional triggers have evolutionary roots in our ___ ___
survival instincts
Being specific, open-ended questions, explain your purpose, show appreciation, choose the right time, be receptive
practice asking for feedback
culture, beliefs, values, attitudes, experiences, interests, and biases
individual listening filters
emotional burden, social ioslation, mental strain, relationship damage, physical impacts
What makes a secret harmful
The tendency for memories to be heavily influenced by things that happened after the actual event itself
The Misinformation Effect
When you ___ someone, you ___ yourself.
forgive
Develop curiosity, change your perspective, practice respect
showing openness to other people's opinions
Ignoring the speaker
Pretending to listen
Selective listening
Attentive listening
Empathetic listening
levels of listening
challenge thinking, controlling emotions, positive thinking, self-awareness
cognitive/emotional coping strategies
The tendency for memories to be heavily influenced by things that happened after the actual event itself
The Anchoring Bias
triggering event
escalation
crisis
recovery
post-crisis depression
stages of anger
depends on current state of mind, your relationship with the person, past experiences, emotional IQ
why is it hard to accept feedback
hostility with a smile is less often called out
hidden aggression
time management, assertiveness (setting boundaries), working with others, changing behaviors
behavioral coping strategies
The tendency for people to give themselves credit for their success, but blame failures on outside causes
The Self-Serving Bias
Anger emerges from 3 indicating factors
1) provocation
2) interpretation of the provocation
3) mood at the time