What is enamel made of?
Ground-up hopes of dental assistants everywhere.
What should you do when the doctor says “suction”?
Immediately vacuum up their sentence mid-word.
The hygienist says "you'll feel a little pressure," and the pt immediately does what?
Their whole body levitates off the chair like they're being abducted!
A pt calls and says, "My insurance should cover everything right?" what's the correct response?
*Deep inhale*..."unfortunately, no".
Pt proudly says "I don't floss." What do they ALWAYS follow that sentence with?
"...Because my gums bleed when I do floss."
How many adult teeth are in the human mouth?
Depends how rough their last breakup was.
The bur fell on the floor — now what?
Kick it under the counter like a rice grain.
When do patients want their appointment?
“After work but before work but not today but maybe tomorrow but not too early but also not too late.”
What is the #1 most important tool for verifying a pt's insurance?
A. their policy numbers
B. Their group number
C. ALOT of patience
C - ALOT of patience
Pt refuses X-rays because they "don't want radiation." yet the proudly tell you they:
A. Vape mango mint ice every 12 min.
B. Tan weekly.
C. Have the newest iPhone glued to their skull.
D. All of the above.
Correct answer D. All of the above!!
What is the purpose of wisdom teeth?
To ruin vacations and insurance maximums.
What does the doctor mean when they say “one more step”?
You’re about to set up for an entirely new procedure.
If a Pt has pockets of 5-6 mm, heavy calculus, and bleeding on almost every tooth, what are they still going to tell the hygienist?
I floss often...
(Translation: They flossed once, right before this appointment)
If you call insurance and they say "Your call is very important to us," how long will you be on hold?
At least the length of a full crown prep appt...maybe 2.
What absolutely unhinged thing does a Pt do the moment you go in with the mirror?
Stick their tongue out like it's trying to escape the country.
What happens if you don’t floss?
The plaque forms a union...
The patient’s tongue keeps attacking the drill — how do you fix it?
Challenge it to combat.
What is the fastest way to make a hygienist break into a silent internal scream?
A. Pt shows up 12 minutes late.
B. Pt says "I forgot to take my premed."
C. Pt shows up late and when getting brought back asks "can i use the bathroom?"
Correct answer All the Above!!
The pt that has no showed and called 20 mins before their appt time is back on the schedule and shows up an hour before his appt asking to move the appt out...what is front desk's first reaction?
Cue the red face and smoke coming out of the ears and nose like a bull ready to charge a matador
Patient says, "It only hurts when i drink cold water, hot drinks, chew, breathe, exist, or think about it." Diagnosis?
Root canal or funeral- there is no in-between.
What tooth is most likely to betray you without warning?
The one you bragged about yesterday.
If the Dr asks for "just a TINY bit more water," what does that translate to for the assistant?
You must somehow deliver:
-enough water to satisfy
-but NOT ONE DROP MORE than the doctors microscopic threshold of tolerance
What bacteria is most associated with chronic periodontitis?
Porphyromonas gingivalis
A patient calls and says, "I need a cleaning...TODAY." What is the scientifically correct answer?
"We are booked until 2097, but let me check with hygiene"
Patient says, "Do i really need this treatment?" And deep down every dentist wants to say:
"No you're right- lets just wait and see how dramatic your body wants to get."