Defining Esteem
“A person can acknowledge, ‘I made a harmful mistake,’ without concluding, ‘I am a harmful person.’ This reflects the ability to separate behavior from this broader judgment of personal worth.”
What is self-esteem?
“‘Because I froze during one difficult moment, I am weak in every part of my life.’ This thought moves from one event to a sweeping negative conclusion about the self.”
What is overgeneralization?
“This skill asks, ‘What would I say to someone I care about if they were in my exact situation?’ and then applies a similarly fair standard to oneself.”
What is self-compassion?
“Believing that one person’s betrayal proves that all people will eventually betray you illustrates this distortion.”
What is overgeneralization?
“In CBT, the statement ‘I feel worthless’ is treated as an important emotional experience—but not automatically as this.”
What is fact?
“This involves recognizing another person’s humanity and worth without excusing their harmful behavior or allowing them unlimited access to you.”
What is esteem for others?
“‘I was treated badly by someone I trusted, so no one can be safe or caring.’ This belief is a stuck point involving this area of esteem.”
What is a stuck point about esteem towards others?
“Recognizing that a traumatic experience influenced your thoughts, emotions, or behavior but does not determine your inherent value protects this.”
What is your worth (or value)?
“Deliberately noticing a coworker following through, a stranger behaving courteously, or a friend respecting a boundary is a way to gather this against the belief that all people are harmful.”
What is contradictory evidence or evidence against the stuck point?
“‘I am struggling right now, but struggle does not prove I am a failure’ is an example of this type of replacement for an extreme automatic thought.”
What is an alternative (or balanced) thought?
“‘I regret what I did and want to make amends’ reflects this emotion, which is generally focused on an action rather than identity.”
What is guilt?
“Turning ‘I made an error in judgment’ into ‘I am an idiot’ demonstrates this distortion, which replaces a specific description with a total identity judgment.”
What is labeling?
“This component of self-compassion counters the shame-based belief, ‘I am the only person who struggles, fails, or feels this way.’”
What is common humanity?
“A person follows negative news, remembers every example of selfish behavior, and overlooks ordinary acts of reliability or kindness. This selective attention is called this.”
What is a mental filter?
“Asking, ‘Would I use these same words to judge a fellow group member in the same situation?’ uses this strategy to expose self-criticism that is harsher than one’s standard for others.”
What is the double standard technique?
“‘Because I did something wrong, I deserve rejection and do not belong’ reflects this more global, identity-based emotion.”
What is shame?
“A member receives positive feedback for persistence but responds, ‘They were just being nice; it did not mean anything.’ This is an example of this distortion.”
What is minimizing (or discounting the positive)?
“Judging a past decision as obviously wrong because you know the eventual outcome—even though that outcome was uncertain at the time—is this cognitive trap.”
What is hindsight bias?
“‘Some people cause harm, and some people can be trustworthy; I can use judgment and boundaries to decide whom to trust’ demonstrates this.”
What is balanced thinking about others?
“Rating yourself as ‘40 percent competent in this area’ rather than ‘completely incompetent’ applies this method for challenging all-or-nothing thinking.”
What is on a continuum or shades of gray?
“The position that ‘I have strengths, limitations, and room to grow, but my worth is not dependent on flawless performance’ reflects this CBT goal.”
What is self-acceptance (or balanced self-esteem)?
“Comparing one’s private struggles, setbacks, and fears to another person’s outward success while assuming the other person has no difficulties is this unhelpful pattern.”
What is unfair comparison?
“Rather than asking, ‘Why am I not over this yet?’ a more compassionate approach recognizes the effort involved in attending, practicing skills, and remaining engaged in this process.”
What is recovery, therapy or group treatment?
“This behavior challenges the belief, ‘Depending on anyone is dangerous,’ while still allowing a person to choose safe people, set limits, and retain agency.”
What is accepting help or allowing vulnerability?
“The repeated CBT process of identifying an automatic thought, evaluating the evidence, identifying distortions, and generating a more balanced thought is called this.”
What is cognitive restructuring?