Employee Zero
The only piece of equipment in the office quieter than Wilson when he's speaking on a phone call.
What are the server racks?
According to official scorecards, this person actually won the Jepordy game.
Who is William?
The main reason Wilson comes into the office twice a week, besides "working."
What is dropping off Amazon returns?
Wilson’s primary strategy on everything?
What is trash talk?
The song Wilson insists on playing on loop to get "hyped"
What is "Baby Shark"?
The primary reason Laramy decorated with soundproofing panels.
What is Wilson's normal talking volume?
The number of times Wilson mentions his "winning" in a single day.
What is at least 5 times?
Despite his huge personality, Wilson’s official height places him in this vertical category.
What is short?
The exact distance Wilson completed in his legendary foot race against Lian before face-planting.
What is zero feet?
The revolutionary new business Wilson announced on Slack?
What is "Couches for Bulldogs" from Puppy Chau Company?
Wilson’s preferred method of answering a simple "Yes or No" question in a meeting.
What is a 15-minute long-winded story?
What Wilson owes the office if he loses again?
What is a public apology?
The one crisp, juicy vegetable Wilson believes brings out the true flavor in any dish.
What is the onion?
What Wilson calls his fantasy football draft strategy every year.
What is a "tactical masterclass"?
Where Wilson actually finished on last year's sales leaderboard despite his nickname "The Closer".
What is dead last?
Wilson’s absolute favorite creature in the animal kingdom.
What is a turtle?
According to Wilson, this is his single biggest weakness.
What is "Being too good at everything"?
Wilson’s primary form of written communication when plain text just isn't dramatic enough.
What are GIFs and emojis?
The term Wilson uses to describe his fantasy football team, despite all evidence to the contrary.
What is a dynasty?
How Wilson officially explains having the fewest sales at the end of the year.
What is "Focusing on quality over quantity"?