Cognitive
Emotional
Social
100

You can trust your janijim to lead an activity, but you also think they are planing to sneak out of the house at the sleep-over 

7th-9th (13-15)

  • Abstract reasoning developed 
  • Understand consequences but difficulty with impulse control 
  • Capable of leadership
100

A janij loses a game, hits his team mates, cries, and can't say why he's acting that way. 

1st - 2nd (6-8)

  • Big feelings, learning regulation
  • Need help naming and calming emotions
  • Tantrums are normal, frustration tolerance is limited 
100

You overhear that after Ken everyone is invited to someone's house- except for 2 girls. Those two girls have realized they are not invited and are feeling left out, 

 5th-6th (11-12)

  • Peer influence becomes central
  • Fear of embarrassment increases
  • Group dynamics: in/out, leaders/followers
200

It takes you 10 minutes to explain the game, you actually have to act it our so they get it. Then they start playing and start wandering off after three minutes. 

1st-2nd (6-8). 

  • Think concretely and literal 
  • Short attention span
  • Learn best with movement and visuals 
200

You call out your bossy janij in front of everyone- she goes quiet and sabotages the rest of your day, but when you talk to her one-on-one she encourges everyone to participate.

3rd - 4th (9-10 yr)

  • Sensitive to criticism and comparison
  • Want to feel competent and capable
  • Can regulate emotions better but still need support
200

Two janijim are best friends this Saturday, "never talking again" after the sleepover, and best friends again before Broadway.

3rd-4th (9-10)

  • Friendships matter more and feel more “real”
  • Conflict increases but usually short lived 
  • Care deeply about being treated fairly 
300

A janij protests, "That's not fair, he got two turns and I got one," and will continue arguing and be unhappy until he feels he is being heard. 

3rd-4th (9-10)

  • Understand rules
  • They care about fairness
  • Can understand cause-effect
  • Enjoy earning challenges and “earning priviledges” (jodashitos) 
300

One janij just made fun of someone else for being terrible at soccer. The kid being bullied just laughs and says "whatever, I don't care", then goes silent for the rest of the day. 

7th-9th (13-15)

  • Emotions are intense but hidden by humor, sarcasm or disengagement 
  • Strong reactions to perceived disrespect 
300

A janij would rather follow friends and break a rule than listen to the madrij— being left out of the group chat feels worse than any consequence.

7th-9th (13-15)

  • Peer approval>adult approval 
  • Identity, status and belonging are critical
  • Highly sensitive to fairness and inclusion 
400

You start working on the Broadway dance and your kids ask "But why do we have to do it this way?" and they start interrupting and questioning your decisions while proposing their own ideas. 

5th-6th (11-12)

  • Abstract thinking emerging
  • Can reflect on behavior
  • Start questioning rules and authority
400

One girls points out another girls talks weird with her new braces. The girls with the braces starts crying and refuses to participate in the rest of the activities. 

 5th-6th (11-12)

  • Self consciousness 
  • Mood swings 
  • Strong need for validation and belonging
400

The sleepover is at this janij's house and he is having a hard time sharing his space and his stuff. He clings to you and does not appear to care about his friends. 

1st-2nd (6-8)

  • Learning to share, take turns and follow group rules
  • Friendships are fluid and change quickly 
  • Look to adults for guidance and reassurance: they see YOU as adults 
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