Christmas Crackers
His 1986 album "White Christmas" is generally considered the greatest Christmas album of all time.
Who is Bing Crosby?
"Despite the constant negative press covfefe"
Who is Donald Trump?
Lesbianage
What is the process by which a lesbian knowingly hits on a straight woman in an attempt to "turn" them?
Everyone knows that Viggo Mortenson, the actor who played Aragorn, broke his toe kicking the orc helmet in "Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring." However, he also lost one of these during a mishap in a fight scene.
What is a Tooth?
Contact is not required to ignite this liquid, the fumes being more than enough to begin a fire even days after it has been spilled on the ground.
What is Gasoline?
"Is it a Christmas movie?" Didn't matter for this leading man who made $5 million as John McClane in "Die Hard."
Who is Bruce Willis?
"Wow, a cow made of butter. My girls would love it. In fact, the first sentence Caroline ever said was "I like butter"
Who is Ted Cruz?
Show Queen
What is a gay man obsessed with Broadway?
In "Pulp Fiction", Mia orders her shake "Martin and Lewis", referring to a white comedy duo, meaning she wants her shake vanilla. This is what Vincent orders to drink.
What is a Vanilla Coke?
Forget the frostbite! The vapors caused by this liquid can displace oxygen in the lungs, leading to asphyxiation.
What is Liquid Nitrogen?
The movie version of her novel, "To Kill A Mockingbird" landed on the silver screen Christmas of '62.
Who is Harper Lee?
"Yes, they can control the weather. It's ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can't be done."
Who is Marjorie Taylor Greene?
U-Haul Lesbian
What is a lesbian who moves in with their partner very soon (less than a month, usually) after beginning to date them?
The shower scene in "Psycho" was filmed in black and white, disguising that the blood in the shower was really chocolate syrup. This, though was used for the sound of the stabbing.
What is a Melon?
Large quantities of this element, chemical symbol BR, can cause overproduction of mucus in the lungs in mere minutes after exposure, causing grievous bodily harm.
What is Bromine?
This Beatles member's girlfriend Pattie Boyd was attacked by rabid fans on Christmas in 1964.
Who is George Harrison?
"Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, please refudiate."
Who is Sarah Palin?
Kiki
What is a party hosted (usually by a gay man) to gossip and "spill tea" with others (usually also gay men)?
In "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope", a stormtrooper bumps his head entering a doorway. Later releases of the film added a sound effect to play off the joke. This character bumps their head in a similar manner to pay homage to the iconic gaffe as they enter Slave I.
Who is Jango Fett?
This element hates sugar more than strict parents, producing flames when exposed to sugar as it oxidizes upon contact.
What is Sodium or Sodium Chlorate?
This USSR leader resigned in a televised broadcast on Christmas of 1991, one of the biggest events in Russian history since the birth of Marx. Get it? Birth-Marx?
Who is Mikhail Gorbachev?
"Hey @MittRomney you will NEVER president!"
Who is George Santos?
Fish or Fishy
What is a drag queen who convincingly passes as a woman?
During his time filming "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark", Harrison Ford was sick and thus improvised shooting the swordsmen when it appears they are about to duel. This was the sickness afflicting him.
What is Dysentery?
Once thought to be the cure for death, this element caused more deaths than it prevented. It's actually one of the most toxic substances in the known universe. But hey, its a metal that's liquid at room temperature! That's got to account for something, right?
What is Mercury?