The Basics
What does it mean when we say that a child is at the top of the circle?
Exploring their environment
A student gets their toy taken from them by another student. They run over to the teacher and start crying. What part of the circle is the student on and what is their need?
Bottom of the circle
Comfort me
What is shark music?
A caregiver's alarm, fears, or past experiences that can affect how they interpret and respond to a child's behavior.
True or False: Depression can be a reason that a caregiver is "gone."
True. Other examples of a caregiver being "gone" include: different mental health disorders, caregivers prioritizing adult relationships, military placements, immigration status, as well as everyday needs such as using your phone, and ignoring problem behaviors.
If a caregiver has limited hands, it means they lose the balance of being strong, kind, and committed. If a caregiver is kind without being strong, they lean toward what?
Weak
What does it mean when we say a child is on the bottom of the circle?
Coming back to you for support
A child proudly shows you a tower they built and looks to their teacher. What are they looking for?
Enjoy with me
Delight in me
Connection
What is the message behind the smoke alarm metaphor?
Responding to the underlying need, rather than the behavior.
True of False: A securely attached child should be able to play independently all day without needing reassurance
False. Securely attached children still need connection, comfort, and support.
What is a miscue and why do kids do it?
A miscue is hiding an underlying need that does not feel safe to cue appropriately. Children miscue their caregiver because they learn that there are specific needs that make their caregiver uncomfortable.
What do the hands represent on the circle?
Safe Haven/Secure Base
A child hits a peer when asked to clean up. Instead of labelling the child "bad", what should the teacher consider?
The underlying needs of the behavior, for example:
Frustration tolerance
Difficulty with transition
Help regulating emotions while still setting a clear safety limit
Language
What was the reason that the first chapter showed you the deck of cards with a message on the back?
To emphasize that the answers are usually hidden in plain sight
True or False: A child can step off the circle.
False. Children never step off the circle, but a caregiver can.
What is the difference between "delight in me" and "enjoy with me?"
Delight in me for my being - creates a sense of being inherently valuable and loveable.
Enjoy with me for my doing - gives a sense of accomplishment and confidence in their achievements.
Name two of the four needs associated with the top of the circle
Help Me
Watch Over Me
Delight in Me
Enjoy with Me
A new student of yours has been crying at drop off for weeks. They cling to their parent and do not want to say goodbye. The parent leaves the classroom, but waits outside the door to check in. How can your knowledge of Circle of Security help to explain this behavior?
Parent is hearing shark music at the top of the circle
Child is miscueing because of parent's anxiety around leaving
How can knowing who your "invisible children" are in the classroom be helpful?
Identifying your invisible children no longer makes them invisible.
You can then enhance your knowledge, acceptance, and commitment to build a more secure relationship with these children.
True or False: When a caregiver makes a mistake or misreads a child's needs, it can damage the relationship permanently.
False: rupture happens in relationships and caregivers can reconnect through repair.
A child repeatedly says "I can do it myself" but becomes upset when the teacher walks away. How can both behaviors make sense?
The child may want independence and connection at the same time.
Child may not know how to ask for help because of their caregiver's shark music.
Name two of the four needs associated with the bottom of the circle
Protect Me
Comfort Me
Delight in Me
Organize my Feelings
A child refuses help and insists on doing everything alone. A teacher feels rejected and backs away. How might shark music help explain the teacher's reaction?
The child's behavior may trigger the teacher's own feelings or past experiences. Recognizing that reaction can help the teacher pause, reflect, and respond to the child's underlying needs instead of taking the behavior personally.
What does the rowboat and dock metaphor teach us about supporting children transition into the classroom?
Transitions can be vulnerable moments for children so teachers and caregivers should help them feel connected and secure rather than assuming they can manage the transition on their own.
True or False: A child can communicate a need for connection through behaviors that appear rejecting, controlling, or challenging to the caregiver.
True. A child's behavior may communicate underlying attachment needs even when those needs aren't immediately obvious.
“I know you’re angry and it’s okay to be angry. But I won’t let you hit your friend. I’m here to help.”
A caregiver setting a boundary like this is an example of what phrase from Circle of Security?
No nonsense tenderness. No nonsense tenderness is important to set limits, maintain boundaries and safety, while remaining compassionate and emotionally available